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Song Parodies -> "I Would Do Anything for Cash"

Original Song Title:

"I Would Do Anything for Love"

Original Performer:

Meatloaf

Parody Song Title:

"I Would Do Anything for Cash"

Parody Written by:

Below Average Dave

The Lyrics

Please I would do anything for cash
I'd take any job, and that's a fact
I would do anything for cash
My rent's way past due, my windshield's cracked

Please I'll never take aim at stealing from you dear pal
Oh no, please wait
Oh I just really need some dough now
Oh I'd do anything cops allow
I am so desperate, please tell how
I can earn some cash
Please I need some cash

I'd do things that may seem sleazy
I'd do stuff without regard
I'd risk every limb and bone
and if I survive I'll do it again

I can be a date for hire
Or walk barefoot across ice
I'd even eat anything on Fear Factor, say Amen

Morals are hazy
When you really want some food
I have a spending problem,
so just tell me what I should do

It's money for which I'm yearning
My credit cards all are burning
I'll even lick dust off of your shoes
As long as your paying

Yes I would do anything for cash
I'd take about any impact
and I would do anything for dough
A statement which I won't retract
but I'll only do something that won't get me in jail today
That's right

and I would do anything for cash
Even eat a rat
Sure I could do that

I would do anything for cash
Even dig for stuff in the trash
Just let me earn some more

I would do anything for dough
Even massage them big fat toes
I would even do. . .

I'd risk the big city's violence
or suck on a lump of coal
I wish you could see I just need a check, yeah and that is my goal

This ain't baloney
I'm serious as I can be
It may sound quite silly
Silly, but it's true, that much I plea

There's not much I would be spurning
I see your mind's thoughts are burning
Just tell me what it is that I must do
This isn't a joke no

Cause
I would do anything for cash
Even swallow lemon extract
I'd run to town and get real trashed
If that's what you want, that's a fact

but I always feel better when my work involves booze
So wrong
So wrong

but Still I'd do anything for cash
Yes I would do anything, just a-a-ask
I would do anything for cash
I'd be a door mat
Oh No, please oh sir, not that

I would do anything for cash
I'd even walk through smoking ash
Please I just need some cash

I'm really desperate for some cash
So tell me how to earn your stash
Please now I can do that

I'm gonna find a way now love
I'm willing to go push and shove
Please I just need some. . .

Oh I'll never stop asking
Just say what I must do tonight
That's right

And I would do anything for cash
but you know that
Cause I told you that

(Random Person)
Would you rake my barn?
Would you eat canned spam?
Would you run through Chicago with you clothes left on the ground?
Would you love me though I'm twice as old?

(Me)
I can do that, oh yes now give me that cash

(Another Random Person)
Would you massage my bunions and forget to wear socks?
Would you dust and clean my old grandfather, I mean the tick tock (clock)?
Would you lay on a cactus full grown?

(Me)
I can do that, Oh yes now give me that cash

(Yet Another Random Person)
Just after midnight, sneak into a crime ring
I can promise you, this ain't no cop sting
and I'll pay you in full when we're done

(Me)
I won't do that, not that desperate

(Same Random Person)
C'mon you sap, you said you needed cash now
If you really want it, you need to make me wow
Sooner than later you'll be begging me pal

(Me)
I can't do that, not that desperate yet

Anything for cash
Well I guess not anything, not that
But most anything else for cash
But I can't do that
At least not just yet
This has been a Below Average Dave Production, All Rights Reserved

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
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 5   13
 13
 13
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

littleCactusCake - July 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir B-A-D, these lines are nasty, but zany as heck !! The "cactus" line has me rolling in laughter! . . . And I was planning a trip to Chicago this Fall . . . .
2Eagle - July 14, 2008 - Report this comment
You forgot the part about kissing President Bush.
Matthias - July 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Kinda like, "I Have No Career" in form of a Meatloaf song... Which is (As Jack Wilson would say) Awesome!
Agrimorfee - July 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Mr. Dave, this was above average. You let this build to a tremendous climax, as is fitting to a Meatloaf tune. Wish I could give you some cash for brightening up my day...will a 555 suffice?
AFW - July 14, 2008 - Report this comment
As scarce as good jobs are, plus the economy and gas prices, I think we all would ..timely, topical, and well done
David Pratter - October 30, 2010 - Report this comment
Just listened to the recording of it for the first time today you have on SoundClick and I see you changed some of the lyrics. This song is exactly how I feel right now, which is why I suggest http://www.givingawayfreemoney.com if you're really that desperate for cash - it really is free money, no strings attached!
Porfle Popnecker - March 23, 2012 - Report this comment
I could identify with this one. I also love cash!
Mark Scotti - March 24, 2012 - Report this comment
(Artistry)...Here's $555 for the GREAT JOB!
bobpiecheese - April 03, 2012 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I realloy enjoyed this parody, despite the fact that you seemed to consistently miss the (very fast spoken, I'll admit) first word in a fair amount of the lines. If someone could pay you to write awesome parodies like this, you'd have no financial troubles EVER, methinks. 555!
Rex - April 06, 2012 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Money may not buy happiness, but have you ever tried to buy something without it? Funny stuff.
Blaydeman - April 06, 2012 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Such a long and meladramatic OS, but none the less a classic. I thught this was great. It had a lot of funny lines, abd like Aggy, I loved the building action. Good write Dave. 555 Benjamins for you.

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