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Song Parodies -> "We Can't Fund This"

Original Song Title:

"U Can't Touch This"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

MC Hammer

Parody Song Title:

"We Can't Fund This"

Parody Written by:

Bob Gomez

The Lyrics

We can't fund this
We can't fund this
We can't fund this (oh-oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh)
We can't fund this (oh-oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh)

My, my, my, my, Trump you out of
Yo gourd
Make me say
Oh, my Lord
Bitch, you
Are stressing me
Make your mind up, sign, and tweet tweet tweet
Good dog
Took a nice beat down
A stupid old grope boy from the Choketown
And we owned
Yo buns
And this is a bitch, uh,
We can't fund

I told you Doughboy, we can't fund this
Yeah, that's Congress limitin' ya Dough
We can't fund this
Gavel's my right hand
We can't fund this
You know let me bust the process for ya, we can't fund this:

Congress holds
The purse
You like it or not, that's the way this mutha works
So move
Out the damn way
And buy an Erector set, okay?
And build somethin'
That's great
Itty bitty door with a itty bitty gate
With slats
Like that
Caravans comin' with a sack of crack
But no,
We stuck to guns
And this is a deal, Drumpf, we can't fund

Yo, I told you, we can't fund this
Bitch McConnell said, Man, we can't fund this
Yo, get a clue, rent came due, sucka, we can't fund this

Write me a law
For Dreamers
Givin' 'em props as high achievers
Wow, they know
When you talk about the border you're not about to show their life
Their fight
Graduates gettin' some college they like
And embrace
This land
Makin' it a great land, jobs are in demand
'Cuz they
Don't quit
Dreamers work hard 'n' they grind through the grit
That's word...and 'bout your wall?
We can't fund this (oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh)
We can't fund this (oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh)
Take it, clown
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh)
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh)
Stop--Nancy time

Got a new dress
And it's red
Rip the Pentagon's budget, that duck is dead
Emer-
Gency you declare?
Nice precedent for a Democrat to share
You got punked
Such a winner
Gained twenty pounds hope you had a McDinner
Dude
Chump, go hump
Hannity, Pirro, Faux Friends in the rump
Hump Trump Chumps, yeah
Can't fund this

Look, man, we can't fund this
Go quietly, be nice boy, 'cause you know we can't, we can't fund this
Back pay day, contractors, no shutdown
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)

Drop gavel time
(Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh)
(Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh)
(Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh)
(Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) we can't fund this
(Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) we can't fund this
(Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) we can't fund this
(Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) Take it, clown
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Drop gavel time

So next time you see me
On Pennsylvania Ave.
I might let you kiss
My butt but you may not grab
Now why should I ever
Bow down to you
My papa and my mama
Had power beaucoup
I'm back as Madame Speaker
From DC to the Bay
It's Nancy go Speaker
It's Nancy yo Speaker and the Prez can golf away
We can't fund this (oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh)
We can't fund this (oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh)
Can't fund this (oh-oh oh-oh-oh)
Yeah we can't fund this
I told you, we can't fund this (oh-oh oh-oh-oh)
Bye-bye, can't fund this
TFOH, we can't fund this
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
©Bob "Tools Legit, No Quit" Gomez 2019

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 1.2
How Funny: 1.1
Overall Rating: 1.2

Total Votes: 177

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   170
 170
 170
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 1
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 1
 
 5   7
 6
 6
 

User Comments

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Up Yours, Commie Nazi Hypocrites! - February 15, 2019 - Report this comment
Yeah, NOW you America-hating spendthrift treasonous genocidal racist psychopaths are going to pretend to be concerned about the budgets and taxpayers your Commie Nazi rat buddies in Congress have been abusing for decades? BS! If we patriots need any extra funds to build walls to secure the borders, we can always get them the same way you hypocrites got funds for California's $40 billion high-speed rail to nowhere (to name just ONE of your failed boondoggles), fool.
Guy Who Deposed Usurper Hussein - February 15, 2019 - Report this comment
Yes, we CAN!
Trump Voting Hispanic - February 15, 2019 - Report this comment
Si, se PUEDE!
Trump Voting Hispanic - February 15, 2019 - Report this comment
Si, se PUEDE!
2Eagle Your Turd-Eating Sock Puppet - February 15, 2019 - Report this comment
Oh yeah, Bob! Tell it like it ain't! I love gobbling your stupid and unfunny leftard feces while pretending it's brilliant and humorous caviar because it's what Democrats want to hear!

While you're at it, tell us again how Mueller's gonna find proof any day now that President Trump is a Russian sleeper agent!
Libby (@uppity) - February 15, 2019 - Report this comment
"...America-hating spendthrift treasonous genocidal racist psychopaths..."--just call 'em Republicans.
The Offenders - February 15, 2019 - Report this comment
THAT'S RIGHT, 2Eagle and Libby! Also, Jussie Smollet totally didn't perpetrate a false-flag racist hate crime hoax and lie to the police about it, AOC's Green New Deal isn't going to take away our hamburgers, cars, and planes (which is why the Democrats are all positively CLAMORING to have it brought to the floor for a vote), if you like your plan, you can keep your plan, if you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor, Jews must stand with Ilhan Omar (who's TOTALLY not a Nazi or an America-hating spendthrift treasonous genocidal racist psychopath who married her brother or anything like that), and YOU'RE TOTALLY NOT A MINDLESSLY EVIL HUMORLESS FECES-GOBBLING NPC!!!
The Offenders - February 15, 2019 - Report this comment
THAT'S RIGHT, 2Eagle and Libby! Also, Jussie Smollet totally didn't perpetrate a false-flag racist hate crime hoax and lie to the police about it, AOC's Green New Deal isn't going to take away our hamburgers, cars, and planes (which is why the Democrats are all positively CLAMORING to have it brought to the floor for a vote), if you like your plan, you can keep your plan, if you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor, Jews must stand with Ilhan Omar (who's TOTALLY not a Nazi or an America-hating spendthrift treasonous genocidal racist psychopath who married her brother or anything like that), and YOU'RE TOTALLY NOT A MINDLESSLY EVIL HUMORLESS FECES-GOBBLING NPC!!!
The Offenders - February 15, 2019 - Report this comment
THAT'S RIGHT, 2Eagle and Libby! Also, Jussie Smollet totally didn't perpetrate a false-flag racist hate crime hoax and lie to the police about it, AOC's Green New Deal isn't going to take away our hamburgers, cars, and planes (which is why the Democrats are all positively CLAMORING to have it brought to the floor for a vote), if you like your plan, you can keep your plan, if you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor, Jews must stand with Ilhan Omar (who's TOTALLY not a Nazi or an America-hating spendthrift treasonous genocidal racist psychopath who married her brother or anything like that), and YOU'RE TOTALLY NOT A MINDLESSLY EVIL HUMORLESS FECES-GOBBLING NPC!!!
A PROCLAMATION - February 15, 2019 - Report this comment
The current situation at the southern border presents a border security and humanitarian crisis that threatens core national security interests and constitutes a national emergency. The southern border is a major entry point for criminals, gang members, and illicit narcotics. The problem of large-scale unlawful migration through the southern border is long-standing, and despite the executive branch’s exercise of existing statutory authorities, the situation has worsened in certain respects in recent years. In particular, recent years have seen sharp increases in the number of family units entering and seeking entry to the United States and an inability to provide detention space for many of these aliens while their removal proceedings are pending. If not detained, such aliens are often released into the country and are often difficult to remove from the United States because they fail to appear for hearings, do not comply with orders of removal, or are otherwise difficult to locate. In response to the directive in my April 4, 2018, memorandum and subsequent requests for support by the Secretary of Homeland Security, the Department of Defense has provided support and resources to the Department of Homeland Security at the southern border. Because of the gravity of the current emergency situation, it is necessary for the Armed Forces to provide additional support to address the crisis.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, DONALD J. TRUMP, by the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States of America, including sections 201 and 301 of the National Emergencies Act (50 U.S.C. 1601 et seq.), hereby declare that a national emergency exists at the southern border of the United States, and that section 12302 of title 10, United States Code, is invoked and made available, according to its terms, to the Secretaries of the military departments concerned, subject to the direction of the Secretary of Defense in the case of the Secretaries of the Army, Navy, and Air Force. To provide additional authority to the Department of Defense to support the Federal Government’s response to the emergency at the southern border, I hereby declare that this emergency requires use of the Armed Forces and, in accordance with section 301 of the National Emergencies Act (50 U.S.C. 1631), that the construction authority provided in section 2808 of title 10, United States Code, is invoked and made available, according to its terms, to the Secretary of Defense and, at the discretion of the Secretary of Defense, to the Secretaries of the military departments. I hereby direct as follows:

Section 1. The Secretary of Defense, or the Secretary of each relevant military department, as appropriate and consistent with applicable law, shall order as many units or members of the Ready Reserve to active duty as the Secretary concerned, in the Secretary’s discretion, determines to be appropriate to assist and support the activities of the Secretary of Homeland Security at the southern border.

Sec. 2. The Secretary of Defense, the Secretary of the Interior, the Secretary of Homeland Security, and, subject to the discretion of the Secretary of Defense, the Secretaries of the military departments, shall take all appropriate actions, consistent with applicable law, to use or support the use of the authorities herein invoked, including, if necessary, the transfer and acceptance of jurisdiction over border lands.

Sec. 3. This proclamation is not intended to, and does not, create any right or benefit, substantive or procedural, enforceable at law or in equity by any party against the United States, its departments, agencies, or entities, its officers, employees, or agents, or any other person.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this fifteenth day of February, in the year of our Lord two thousand nineteen, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and forty-third.

DONALD J. TRUMP
@The Offenders, The Offenders, The Offenders - February 15, 2019 - Report this comment
^^^^ OK, OK, OK I heard you the first time (time) (time)
Mick Mulvaney - February 15, 2019 - Report this comment
Brilliant, Mr. President, just brilliant. Here's your Big Mac and Coke. Senator McConnell will hold your straw for you.
OMG! - February 15, 2019 - Report this comment
What bunch of traitor Nazi trolls
DJT - February 15, 2019 - Report this comment
Thanks, Mickey, now just make sure my golf clubs get on the plane. Nothing like a national emergency to make you want to play a few rounds, right? See you Monday or Tuesday afternoon for that Venezuela war briefing.
2Eagle - February 15, 2019 - Report this comment
Oh, good grief ~ chill out already! ~ I had nothing to do with this ~ although this is a clever parody.
Libby - February 18, 2019 - Report this comment
I have no further riposte to Offenders except to add that Smollett is an idiot, too. Otherwise, you are a sad excuse.
Dirty Little Secret - February 18, 2019 - Report this comment
Libby, I'll let you and your fellow America-hating spendthrift treasonous genocidal racist psychopaths (i.e. leftards) in on a little open secret your programmers didn't put in your NPC algorithms: Donald Trump has ALREADY got those walls funded and under construction. Even before the shutdown, while you and your fellow America-hating spendthrift treasonous genocidal racist psychopaths were losing your dick-measuring contests with him these past few weeks, he was already allocating resources by operating under the emergency declared by none other than your failed Messiah Hussein against Mexican drug cartels, which is still active. You lose again, you America-hating spendthrift treasonous genocidal racist psychopath Dumbocunt (but I repeat myself)! In your face (just like Hussein's bung), losers!
Libby (@ DLS) - February 19, 2019 - Report this comment
So what's the Emergency then?
Bob Gomez - February 19, 2019 - Report this comment
I think Andrew McCabe has the answer to that one.

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