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Song Parodies -> "Squash (Jack and the Beanstalk)"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Matchbox Twenty

Parody Song Title:

"Squash (Jack and the Beanstalk)"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

The tale of Jack and the Beanstalk done to a 90s Alt Rock Song!
He'll use his big toes to stomp villagers into dust
He's a little bit nasty...
Wants those townsfolk dead since he's a prick
From way down low I can't tell if he's just a klutz
His huge hands can crush me...
My abode has just become a pit
And that's made me quite cranky, Well...

Run for cover...
You'll be smeared...
Now that there's a giant in town
Heard him groaning...
He's deranged... (yeah)
All because I stole gold!

He wants to squash me right now...
Here to kill...
Here to kill...
That dude has mashed my house...
Blood will spill...
Blood will spill...
Since I took off like a bandit...
With his enormous gold rabbit...
Yeah, yeah...
That's the drill...

Watched that beanstalk grow way up high and that's quite extreme
I thought that dude was just bluffing
When he snagged my milk cow for something worthless
Right out of the sky I noticed some massive feet
As they just flattened my chimney
Now I'm chased by his gigantic wife
Cause she's a little bit fiesty, Well...

Left their grand lair... With huge rings for me
Now I've been trampled... By nimrods, Dude
Her shoes crunched me... It's... so... strange...
That I'm still here though I've been mauled...

They want to crush me right now
It's a thrill
It's a thrill...
That chick will smash me, Growls:
"You'll be grilled
You'll be grilled"
Her giant breath is so rancid... Yeah...
My death will be so enchanted...
That stench makes me ill...

She shoved me in her toaster
Inside her kitchen she baked me like a Pop-Tart
Beasts think I'm tasty! Tasty!
Large teeth are gnaashiiiiiiiiiiiiing!
Monsters are thrashing, Smashing!

They want to crush me right now
Lost my chill
Lost my chill...
They're gonna gulp me down...
Like a pill
Like a pill...
Fed on fresh food that's organic, Yeah yeah yeah...
That's why they make me, make me...
Scream, That sounds shrill

Gut's filled, Gut's filled, Gut's filled, Yeah...
Now I'm nil, Straight zilch
No frills, Nope...
Tossed in their mouths
All since I found
Their kingdom up in the clouds
With my skills...

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

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