-> "Who Likes Grown-Up Christmas? Not Me"
Original Song Title:
"All I Want for Christmas Is You" (MP3)
Parody Song Title:
"Who Likes Grown-Up Christmas? Not Me"
Parody Written by:
I don't wanna deal with Christmas
That's the last thing that I need
I'd much rather stay at home
And Netflix-binge and eat Chinese
But I can't let my parents down
Off I go to my hometown
Where I don't wanna be
Who likes grown-up Christmas?
Just paid seven hundred dollars
For a two-stop red-eye flight
Here I go to greet the family
Listen to them gripe all night
Grandma's rattling off her ailments
And her friends who died this year
Uncle found the bourbon
And he's got some thoughts on Jews and queers
I just wanna run away
Hide in bed till Boxing Day
Then pack my stuff and leave
Who likes grown-up Christmas? Not me!
Now we're sitting down for dinner
Please, somebody, pass the wine
Got my slab of dried-out turkey
And another glass of wine
No, thanks, Mom, I don't want turnips
No one likes them here but you
At least we can eat the rolls
But where the hell's the goddamn wine?
Carols on the stereo
"Let's change the tape!" "Oh, heavens, no!"
How I long to flee
Really, who likes grown-up Christmas? Not me!
Oh, God, time for gift unwrapping
It's barely after eight
And my stocking's full
Of useless crap I hate
I don't need cookie cutters
Or sparkly cell phone covers
Novelty Post-Its or whiskey rocks
Or these stupid reindeer socks
Got a text from my best friend
"Come out tonight for wings and beer!"
Yeah, I'll prob'ly join them
Even though the bars all suck 'round here
Next year I think I will go
Someplace that's never seen the snow
Beneath a different tree
Really, who likes grown-up Christmas?
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|How Funny: ||5.0|
|Overall Rating: ||5.0|
|Total Votes: ||3|
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