I fell down
Sure could use some help
Feels like I broke my spine
I don't think that's good for my health
Do you help me u-u-up?
Course not, you let me lie
Here like a pu-u-utz
Ask "how are you?" Well, I

I'm just fine and dandy he-ere
Super peachy, I can bea-ear
All the bleedin', but if you care about infection
Buddy, don't stand there like a dweeb, yeah
You moron, I need some first aid, please move it

Repeat: ow
Can't you go get help?
No, proper help, don't just tweet
"dude broke his spine or somethin #welp"
Call a medic, clo-o-od
Oh, for St. Peter's sake
Don't take snapsho-o-ots
Wish I could slap your face, yeah

I'm just fine and dandy he-ere
At the bottom of the stai-airs
You're still standin' with that dumb stare like a stunned mullet
Buddy, a medic's what I need, yeah
Look buddy, I can't get to my feet, dammit
Look buddy, is this some joke? Help me, yeah

I'm just fine and dandy he-ere
No, don't sit down in your chai-air
You're a bastard, hear sounds out there, was your intention
More noble than it had first seemed? Whoopsy
There's medics pourin' in like a stream
I guess I assumed you were a dweeb, yeah
Please accept my apolo-ogies