Song Parodies -> "Stolen"

Original Song Title:

"Frozen"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"Stolen"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

The easiest song of the Epic 40 (Took me about 10 minutes to write), but coming up with a good solid idea for this song took about 6 months.

I only take what the others won’t take
From Home Depot I snagged a cracked rake
I’ve stolen
Things that aren’t worth holdin’

I swear to God it’s not a fetish
But from Petsmart I nabbed a goldfish
I’m ruthless
Though these things are useless

Mmmmmm…
No, I won’t jack your car
Mmmmmm…
Cause doing that’s too hard
Mmmmmm…
Give your stuff to me
Mmmmmm…
Like… your… Frisbee

The Mall Cops think that I am so lame
They’ve got my pic on their “Hall of Shame”
Cause I used glue
To rob coins from fountains

Think I’m absurd
I’ve stole your tie
You left it on your clothesline to dry
I’m stealin’
Crap for no good reason

Mmmmmm...
I’ve stole your pickle jar
Mmmmmm...
But left your new guitar
Mmmmmm...
All this stuff is cheap
Mmmmm...
I’ve… got… a heap

My fingers shake and my stomach aches
The cops caught me while stuffing tent stakes
Down my pants
Giving me a stern glance

Mmmmmm...
I thought I’d never stop
Mmmmmm...
But that’s ‘til I was caught
Mmmmmm...
Prison is scary!
Mmmmmm...
Gave… back… house keys

No, I don’t have the guts
Mmmmmm…
To take from Pizza Hut
Mmmmmm…
Can’t stop evil deeds
Mmmmmm…
Now… I’ll…

Just cheat

(Oh, Here is back your bra)

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User Comments

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Kristof Robertson - June 06, 2008 - Report this comment

Brilliant, Matty....a totally original take on kleptomania. "The cops caught me while stuffing tent stakes/ Down my pants" particularly tickled me. 555

Peter Andersson - June 06, 2008 - Report this comment

You just napped five minutes of my life, good for you that it was to my (I think) favorite song by Madonna, now I'll have to pardon you AND give you 555 to life...

UnKnownVO - June 06, 2008 - Report this comment

Oh, thanks Matthias, for returning my bra !!! I see you took the 5's that tucked were in it . . .

Below Average Dave - June 06, 2008 - Report this comment

So that's what happened to the gas tank in my version of this OS.

Rick C - June 07, 2008 - Report this comment

I gave you a 555 but, somebody stole them.

Jason - July 09, 2008 - Report this comment

(SOTM) Very good. 555.

Max Power - July 09, 2008 - Report this comment

Eric Bauman, is that you?

Agrimorfee - July 14, 2008 - Report this comment

(SOTM) not as consistently funny throughout like I'd hoped, but a highly original idea done here. (watch your grammar in the coda!)

Jeff Reuben - July 18, 2008 - Report this comment

(SOTM) For some reason, I could picture Weird Al singing this song. Your lyrics had his feel in this one. Great theme, and well done!

Peter Andersson - July 20, 2008 - Report this comment

SOTM - Like a repeat felon I've returned to this one for a second time, and liked it as much now.

McKludge - July 22, 2008 - Report this comment

SOTM - Like others have said, sometimes grammar mistakes make a parody read a little clunky, like "I've stole your tie." This has a good angle about a kleptomaniac who only steals junk, but you lost that track at the end with the Pizza Hut line. If you kept that going all the way through, this could have been wonderfully wacky. 544

bobpiecheese - July 30, 2008 - Report this comment

(SOTM) Ingenious. I'd offer you 5's, but You've probably already pinched them.

Phil Alexander - July 31, 2008 - Report this comment

It's good and an excellent basis for a parody, but to be honest, you could have got more wit and humour in.

Below Average Dave - July 31, 2008 - Report this comment

SOTM: I like it Matty, but one thing is towards the end you have some lines that I don't think were fully thought out--especially the last line (Have Back Your Bra sounds pretty off) It was funny enough to overcome that (and the pacing on some lines) but all and all really good and could be fixed with minimal improvement.

Guy - July 31, 2008 - Report this comment

(SOTM-Jun-08) Well I happen to like the last line, unlike objections from others about the syntax of the line. I write like this all the time. No wonder I seldom win anything. I like this parody - 6 months thought was what made this 10 minute write a gem.

Red Ant - July 31, 2008 - Report this comment

Last line... maybe "I'll return your bra" would have worked as well? Anyway, this was funny as a read parody, though if you record it some of the humor might get lost due to the somber tone of TOS. I liked the various subs for "frozen". 555

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