Come, visitors, sit yourself down
And meet the best House Speaker, renowned.
As for the rest, all of them crooks,
Looking their best while cooking the books.
Seldom do you see
Honest gals like me
(I meant, of good intent)
Who's content to be

Speaker of the House, selling out the farm,
Ready with a handout or a twisted arm.
Tell a glossy tale, make a little sense;
Presidents appreciate my confidence.
Glad to do a friend a favor;
Doesn't cost me to be nice.
Resisting gets you nothing;
Ev'ry vote has got a dif'rent price!

Speaker of the House, reaper of this crew,
Ready to relieve the rich of what I'm due.
Slaughtering the fine, taking down the great,
Stickin' up-their-prick tax till they can't pee straight.
All the loafers love San Fran Nan,
Welfare mothers' bosom friend.
I do what would have pleased that Jesus;
Want their freedom to suspend!

Speaker of the House, quick to snatch your pie,
Always want a massive bill to pass as "bi".
Servant of the poor, battler of the great,
Commissar, bill officer, plan life-long state!
Ev'ryone can choose companion;
Morals are not cast in stone.
But lock up your gold pieces, Croesus,
Lest I skin you to the bone!

Enter, observe, laws being made --
Replace our roots, best in the shade.
Bill weighs a ton, travels in hearse;
It's clear we strive to lighten your purse.
Peer committees looked
Ere the ink was dried,
And ev'ry vote is hooked
Till I'm satisfied.

Charge fair carbon price, Bush's tax breaks slice.
Who'll dissent for counting Medicare cuts twice?
Here a little slice, there a little cut;
Deep discount for unions who keep their mouths shut.
When it comes to fiscal crises,
There are a lot of tricks she knows.
How the debt increases, all the bits and pieces;
Jesus would go crazy, heaven knows!

Ev'rybody bless San Fran Nan,
Never gaudy dress or blouse.
Ev'rybody raise a glass --
Raise it up that all bills pass.
Ev'rybody praise the brass
Of the Speaker of the House!