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Song Parodies -> "Canadian Woman"

Original Song Title:

"American Woman"

Original Performer:

Lenny Kravitz

Parody Song Title:

"Canadian Woman"

Parody Written by:

John Harvey

The Lyrics

Canadian woman, stay away from me
Canadian woman, gonna make me freeze

Don't wanna have no more days
Way up north with you and Mayonnaise
I got more important things to do
Than spend my time with the Zamboni crew

Now woman, don't say "eh"
Canadian woman, listen, no more sleigh

Canadian woman, three feet of snow
Canadian woman, you mean I can't go?

Don't tell me I am stuck in here
Keep on freezin' off my rear
Northern lights can hypnotize
Temp's at negative twenty-five

Hey woman, keep me warm
Canadian woman, gotta brave the storm

Canadian woman, you are so polite
Canadian woman, can I stay the night?

Don't mind sleepin' on the floor
Long as I get ten quilts of more
I don't need your Canajun beer
Just wanna get the Hell out of here
Northern lights can hypnotize
It's so cold, I crystalize

Now woman, I'm away
Canadian woman, I don wanna stay

Canadian woman, gotta flight for me?
Canadian woman, off to Miami

I gotta go
I gotta get away
Babe, there's too much snow
It's too deep to play

I'm gonna freeze here woman
I'm gonna freeze here woman
I'm gonna freeze here woman
I'm gonna freeze here woman

Eh, eh
Eh, eh
Eh, eh
Eh, eh

(Canadian woman)
You're too clean for me
Your country's too cold too
(Canadian woman)
I'm goin' out to catch my ride
Leavin' 'fore I catch the flu

I'm gonna leave you woman
You know I gotta go
I'm gonna leave you woman
It' way too cold
(Canadian woman)
It's way too cold
It's way too cold
(Canadian woman, yeah.)

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.5
Overall Rating: 3.4

Total Votes: 38

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   7
 2   0
 3   5
 4   10
 5   16

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Royce Miller - February 12, 2003 - Report this comment
This is different and funny--I lived in Canada, it makes alot of sense to me!
Michael Pacholek - February 12, 2003 - Report this comment
Nice try, you hoser, but this would've been funnier if it was a swipe at Alanis Morrissette or Avril Lavigne (even though I like both of them). And remember Katrina LeMay Doan from the Olympics? Nice way to fill a speed skating suit, eh? Canadian women may not be as hot as Australian women, but they're good enough for you. Just watch the girls from Montreal, 'cause they smoke way too much. (Must be a French thing: If Bush promised France all the cigarettes they wanted, they'd support him on Iraq in a hot second.)
Dan - February 15, 2003 - Report this comment
By the way, this song was written by The Guess Who, and they were Canadian. Lenny Kravitz just did a remake of the song, that's all. Canadians have a ton of better music than Americans. I can't believe you think that we have all this snow all the time. It hardly ever snows here, and only in the winter. And the only reason you guys think we have a lot of snow is because part of our country is in the Arctic Circle! Of course there's gonna be snow there! And not even 1% of Canadian people live there! You do have something right though, we are a lot more polite and cleaner than you Americans. Go bomb something.
lillijana - February 16, 2003 - Report this comment
one of my best friends is moving to Canada in two or three weeks and i am relieved to hear Dan's comment about the snow, as we are from Australia and Australia is in drought at the moment. Hopefully the snow wont be too much of a shock for her. i think the pacing of the song is good and the words are cleverly put together
J - February 16, 2003 - Report this comment
HEY! I'm from canada, and i found this extremely affensive! can we go 1 day without americans makeing fun of us? i don't say eh all the time, and i don't live in an igloo! are you to stupid to think we don't own a pair of shorts? geez!
John Harvey - February 16, 2003 - Report this comment
Hey, it's all in good fun. I have cousins living in Canada. It's all right. You can make fun of Americans all you want. Don't take things so seriously. I know Guess Who did the first version, but I did the parody from listening to the Lenny Kravitz version.
John Harvey - February 17, 2003 - Report this comment
By the way, you're right. Canada is more than snow. It's also pine trees, moose, and millions upon millions of mosquitoes. I have a funny story about trying to pee on the side of the highway and nearly being eaten by mosquitoes. I thought it was bad for me, but it was hell for my 80-year-old grandfather.
Jonathan C. - February 17, 2003 - Report this comment
To J, it's people like you that warrant (some) good-natured ridicule of Canadians. This parody said nothing mean about Canada itself. Quit reading between lines that aren't there.
John Harvey - February 18, 2003 - Report this comment
Dan, Take a look at my other parodies and you'll see why I'm not going to "go bomb something".
The Guess Who - April 26, 2003 - Report this comment
Hey! That's our song. We wrote it before Lenny Kravitz was even born. GET IT STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!
John H, - April 28, 2003 - Report this comment
Actually, guys, it was a hit in 1970, and Lenny Kravitz was born already. In fact, he was born on 5/26/1964, so he was 5 years old when you guys recorded it.
John Harvey - April 28, 2003 - Report this comment
Sure, you guys wrote it, but they use the Lenny Kravitz version in car commercials. I was more familiar with it. It's sorta like how some people know "With a Little Help From my Friends" from the Wonder Years instead of the Beatles. I would prefer that you comment on my parody and not who I attribute the origional authorship to. ;)
Meriadoc - April 28, 2003 - Report this comment
I once spent 10 miserable days in Hamilton, Ontario, in _January_ and I can relate. There was frost on the _inside_ of the windows. And our cold-blooded host would not turn the thermostat above 58 degrees. I was never so glad so get out of anyplace in my life...took me an additional week to thaw out.... :-D
Erica - May 11, 2003 - Report this comment
as a proud canadian, i'm not the tiniest bit offended from this song as some of my fellow citizens are. Really, Who cares? Its all in good fun..and i think that for the most part, Americans really DO know that we have more than forest and igloos up in Canada...and that our vocabulary extends past the word "eh". ;)
Nocturnalchild - June 03, 2003 - Report this comment
goodwork as usual!
Katie - July 18, 2006 - Report this comment
sure its all in good fun but i would just like to say something about one two peoples comment one about us making fun of americans we don't this songs isn't even really about americans the guy who originally wrote this wrote it because he liked canadian women better there was so much controversy over this song being an insult to american women and to the u.s itself ask the guy who wrote it he just liked canadian girls better and for the girl or guy who said hamilton was freezing yah right hamilton is hott if u can't stand hamilton try living in the real Northern Ontario like Dryden or Red Lake we get -40 c as an average and just for the record to anyone who thinks we make fun of americans all the time try watching your shows none of them have one half decent thing to say about canadians non of are shows talk about americans like that cause we like to show a littel thing called respect for other nations and we never ever say eh that was a thing made up by americans to try to make us diffrent then them
Grave - May 26, 2009 - Report this comment
You don't have to read between the lines to see that you're making fun of how we say eh. And sure I'm a proud Canadian. But if you're a true Canadian our winters are beautiful, Rick Mercer went to the US to ask you so called 'smart americans' questions about Canada, half of them thought we had states, other had no idea we were a country, they asked a governor of one of the states of what he thought about Canada having a 23 hour clock and he though we did, hell he asked a university student majoring in geography about us leaving our eldery on the ice flows in saskatchewan to die, He thinks thats what we do now And I agree with Katie, you americans have gone really soft, We get -10 and an inch of snow and we call it a nice day, you get an inch of snow and freak out and close down your cities
I Saw RUSH Live Five Times - February 20, 2022 - Report this comment
I'm an American and I've been to Canada several times. I like it tremendously. The one question I'd have to ask the writer of this is, 'Do you want to stay or do you want to go?'. I visited much of that wonderful country, as far west as Sault Ste Marie, Niagara Falls, Toronto, Montreal and I visited Ottawa and Quebec City for the first time in 2019. Enjoyed all I could, love it. For the record, I'm GLAD that Ottawa is taking out the trash this weekend, this 'convoy' crap is nothing but boorish stupidity cheered on by a terrorist sassybrat who calls himself the 'Chosen One'. And music wise, take out the 'WIN' in Shania's last name and what do you get? She's sexy but her music sucks. I don't like Celine the Wounded Feline, Alanis or Avril but I'm proud to have seen the Greatest Canadian Rock'n'Roll Band five times - RUSH! I miss that band so bad now. One of the best ever, from anywhere.

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