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Song Parodies -> "Boy Toy"

Original Song Title:

"Cowboy"

Original Performer:

Kid Rock

Parody Song Title:

"Boy Toy"

Parody Written by:

Jeff Reuben

The Lyrics

Boy Toy

Boy Toy

Well I'm washing all your clothes, separate darks from whites
Make sure I clean the lint tray and hang dry your tights
Iron all your good shirts, press your jeans
Bring some roses home, find a room to clean
And I'm a-Jeff Reuben, honey, here's your drink
Sit down I'll clean up those dishes in the sink
Before I mop the floor I'm sweeping with a broom
Won't just stand there I'll go dust the room
Don't look at other chicks, for you I fawn
Plant the shrubs you picked then go mow the lawn
Cooking class together? Sure, you're the boss
Let's see those directions, so we don't get lost
I will let you explain, without intervening
Forgot my beer, but picked up your dry cleaning
Jeff Reuben, I'm the bedroom freak
And I'm headin down south on ya...because I wanna be your

Boy toy, baby!
"Honey you're so cute I can't help but stare some"
Boy toy, baby!
"Love your hair where'd you have it done?"
I wanna be a boy toy baby
"What do you need cause I'm not lazy"
Boy toy baby
"I love your perfume, and it drives me crazy"

I think I hear my woman calling when the day begins
She says, "Give me a massage!" I lotion my hands
Shoulders and back, till she's so relaxed
I'll miss my game, but really don't mind
My friends are bummed, I know they'll tease
But tonight lets watch Thel-ma and Louise
And if you're in the mood, then I'm gonna rock your world girl
Yeah this night's all about you: because I wanna be your

Boy toy baby
Got Brazilian waxed and I've got no tan lines
Boy toy baby
I won't fuss when I hear you whine
I wanna be a boy toy baby
Won't get jealous when the boys all flock
Boy toy baby
Cause you are the one who can make my heart drop

Jeff...Reuben...got hold of myself
Wear a little apron and wear a-nothing else
Take you out for fine dining, cause I've got class
And my skin tight jeans hug my nice, tight ass
You're sitting on the couch, I'm feeding you grapes
While we date, I'll lift weights, keep my body in shape
Girl, tonight drink all you want, it's okay, cause I'll drive
Give you a French pedicure, and paint the tips white HUH
Huge biceps, strong like grizzly bears
A beautiful smile, but ain't got much upstairs
Chest like Diesel, face like Beckham
Shawties want to touch, but I just won't let them
All your girlfriends think I'm hot...take my time before I hit the spot
Think it's called G, not sure cause I'm not a player
My friends all think I am whipped, but I just do not care
Honey, are you cold? Let's go "huddle"
But if you're not in the mood, pumpkin, "we can just cuddle"
If you need a girl trip I'll miss you so but
I'll walk your dog, and pick you up at the airport!

Boy toy
Don't have any thoughts that would need concealing
Boy toy
Let's spend the night talking about our feelings
Boy toy
Take off my shirt, show my six-pack abs
Boy toy
You don't have to pay, honey, I've got the tab
Boy toy
I just want to stare into your big brown eyes
Boy toy
Rather be with you than drinking with the guys
Boy toy
Girl you are so fine

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 26

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   26
 26
 26
 

User Comments

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Matthias - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
I'm not gay... but.... I think if I met this guy I would make an exception. You're probably just graduating high school, and she's in her 40's that's how those relationships work out, at least that's what I saw on Mad TV. Anyways, great work on this your 2nd rap song, and a member of the Epic 40. Hopefully me and Dave can see you crank out a few more of these by the end of the year, that room is getting cold and quiet with me and just Dave partying in it. Great job, great visuals, great fun!!!
McKludge - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
I sure could use a Sugar Mama. But all that exercise sounds like too much work.
This was really good "Chest like Diesel, face like Beckham/ Shawties want to touch, but I just won't let them" Something tells me we'll be hearing from a certain elf soon... 555
Arwen - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Wow...I thought I had created the perfect man in my last parody...but this is FANtastic. There were lots and lots of favorite parts, but "But tonight lets watch Thel-ma and Louise" totally made me guffaw at my desk...and of course I love that Diesel-like chest. =) Glad you finished it...it was totally worth the wait!! You rock my socks, Jeff!
Arwen...again - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
I didn't read McKludge's comment until after I'd submitted mine...how funny! And a little bit psychic. Hee hee.
littleLoveCakes - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir Jeffrey . . . Ohh ... I'll be right over . . . This is even better than a Campagna bro !!! Who cares about Laundry, when your wearing that apron & feeding me grapes, Sir!!
BonnieB - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Hey Jeff, one question; what's your number? haha That's some serious entertainment, there, keep em coming!
Matthias - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
I want to hear this one recorded, because I want to do a video to it.
Jeff Reuben - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Matthias...it's in the works. Thank you Matthias, Arwen, littleLoveCakes and Bonnie. My number's... :)
Jeff Reuben - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
And thank you McKludge (didn't mean to leave you out!)
AFW - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Great work, on a long and rocky rhythmed original...that covered a lot of my own fantasies
Jack Wilson - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
This is awesome! 5s
Oddybobo - March 02, 2008 - Report this comment
Love that!
Red Ant - March 03, 2008 - Report this comment
Holy hell this was funny. TMOLTM, but "And I'm headin down south on ya..." and "Think it's called G, not sure cause I'm not a player" really stand out. Excellent idea and execution, and much better than TOS (which I like). This should be recorded. 555++
Agrimorfee - March 11, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) What everybody else said. 555
Max Power - March 12, 2008 - Report this comment
Gay 5ives
Peter Andersson - March 17, 2008 - Report this comment
We have a winner with the ladies, and I have a strong feeling it'll rise high in SOTM too, despite males being in majority there. TMGLTM. 555. Etc. :-)
Matthias - March 18, 2008 - Report this comment
I said all I had to say... Very sexy parody Jeff. There's very few parodies about sexy guys on Amiright (Wer're all boobaphiles) but I'm glad you made a sexy parody for the ladies too... Just expanding your tool box if you know what I'm saying
Guy - March 21, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM-FEB08) This one might be rapped to tight.
Below Average Dave - March 21, 2008 - Report this comment
Thank you for posting this under Pimp Your Parodies on badave, it's a very creative parody and, well, I hope you record it too:) Matthias--touche touche
Michael E Cormier - March 22, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) The funny thing is when you're friends rag on you for being whipped for doing these things for your lady, they are the ones usually sleeping alone on the couch for neglecting their women. Meanwhile you're at home experiencing pleasures that are only usually reserved for porn stars and athletes.lol Good work
bobpiecheese - March 29, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I would not have the patience to go through all of that. I mean, come one, Ganondorf ain't gonna kick his own ass! That being said, this parody was cute! I woul
wannabemustangjockey - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I wasn't expecting to be impressed when I read the title, then... well, I'm impressed now.
Below Average Dave - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Well, Jeff, this one is among the most hilarious I've read by you. . .only one minor nitpick and that's Kid Rock's internal rhyming was largely missed, but it still works without that so very minor thing . . . killer parody. Just, when you are down here, you won't be wearing "an apron and nothing else", ok? :)
Phil Alexander - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Thought I'd commented on this one already - brilliantly done, Jeff. I can almost picture you in the apron...
Jeff Reuben - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Phil, you can picture that? I'm truly sorry about that :)
Jack Wilson - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
See above!
Invisible Boy - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
This was great. It's nice to see a woman as the center of attention in a parody...who's treated in a good way.
Mikey Squirrel - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTM- I always thought I was whipped. But reading this convinced me I'm just a boy toy, too. Very funny and well done, Jeff.
Matthias - December 17, 2008 - Report this comment
I don't think I can say anymore than I have above.... So see above. Your 1st comment actually!
Wolverine - December 19, 2008 - Report this comment
(Ages) I don't think I can really add to what's already been said. An absolute great parody Jeff!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - December 20, 2008 - Report this comment
(Ages) Epic. Win. Top-notch pacing throughout, jam-packed with whimsy, you earn five feather dusters, five weeding implements and five submissive ball gags.
Arwen - December 21, 2008 - Report this comment
Ages--still so good, Jeff...though, since Mr. Diesel is now a family man, I've been forced to move on. If you'd like to impress me, you should probably re-write this with another hottie's chest featured. ; ) Of course...impressing me is all that matters, right? Right?
LittleCupCakes - December 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Do you still have ' that Apron ' ? ? Sir Jeffry?? It is sooo cold here in NorCAL, sure would be nice, Sir . . . .
EmiLoca - December 27, 2008 - Report this comment
(Ages) *incredulous stare* I'm not sure whether to vote for you or marry you.
bobpiecheese - December 29, 2008 - Report this comment
(Ages) See above (though it appears part of my comment was wiped - smeg knows why)!
Jeff Reuben - December 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Wolverine, Jake: Thanks! Bobpiecheese: Smeg won't give me a straight answer Arwen: Yes, yes...sub Apricot for Diesel LittleCupCakes: Yes, but that Apron does little for the cold with nothing else :) EmiLoca: Both ;) But if you force me to choose, lets get married
Agrimorfee - December 29, 2008 - Report this comment
(Ages) see above...you people are making this so difficult!
tomario - December 29, 2008 - Report this comment
(ages)This is quality stuff Mr Rueben. I cant belive i have just listened to a kid rock track...yipes!
Glen S - January 07, 2009 - Report this comment
What, no 'bros before hos'? Fine, get laid, whatever. Your ability to be whipped to a fine spreading texture is not impressive, but your ability with parodies is.
Below Average Dave - January 07, 2009 - Report this comment
(Ages) See above. . .
Matthias - February 28, 2009 - Report this comment
Still loved this one Jeff because the only rap parody before this one you ever did was because you were forced to do it so I congratulate you on that alone if this parody wasn't so worthy of applause itself. Very well written, very sexy, very funny. Loved this one.
Glen S - March 15, 2009 - Report this comment
Don't forget the beer. What if she wants one?
bobpiecheese - April 08, 2014 - Report this comment
(ABC) See above (again)!
Max Power - April 08, 2014 - Report this comment
I thought this parody is going to be about what I thought it was. Still, when it comes to pussy whipped, it could have been much worse...there's the event as described in the parody.
Abbott Skelding - April 09, 2014 - Report this comment
How could I have not read this parody before? This is excellent and it had me laughing all the way throughout. I don't think I'm this bad when it comes to being a good boyfriend. I mean, I tried wearing an apron and nothing else and my girlfriend just yelled at me! What gives? Oh well, a superb piece of parody here.
Blaydeman - April 09, 2014 - Report this comment
(ABC) Wow, uber whipped. Jeez. Feel sorry for that guy.

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