Fruitcakes on the campus
Fruitcakes through downtown
Struttin' naked through Happy Valley
In the middle of the week

Half-baked cookies in the oven
Half-baked people aboard CATA
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in all of us Penn Staters

WE ARE... PENN STATE!
THANK YOU! YOU'RE WELCOME!

I was out in Happy Valley
Where I hear they got it all
They got ice cream and stickies
They got legends everywhere

Penn State stores and hangout bars
And lots of foreigners
They all live the easy life
The secret's on campus

Fruitcakes on the campus
Fruitcakes through downtown
Struttin' naked through Happy Valley
During Homecoming weekend

Half-baked cookies in the oven
Half-baked people aboard CATA
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in all of us Penn Staters

Let's honor the memory of JoePa now... we are because he was!

In 1950 JoePa arrived
To join the football coaching staff
Initially he wanted to stay
Only for that one year

He wound up staying here
And eventually became head coach
You just cannot cover up
61 years of success with honor

Fruitcakes in the stadium
Fruitcakes at midfield
Struttin' naked at Beaver Stadium
On a football Saturday

Half-baked cookies in the oven
Half-baked people aboard CATA
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in all of us Penn Staters

Basketball... where's the success when you need it?

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa
Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa

Here's Rec Hall, there's the BJC
Basketball needs to be more successful
Radio announcers criticizing the team's poor play
I think it gives the school a big old nightmare

It's the Fuckeye in you, it's the Lion in me
It's the Hoosier in him, she's a Wildcat, ain't she?
It's that frenzied old school, it's the heart of a lion
Tell me what's going on, I ain't got a clue!

Let's talk about our love for Dear Old State now. For the glory!

When we were Penn State students
We committed to school work
And we still worshipped old JoePa
Because of his hard work

But not only did JoePa work hard
He also made a big impact
With his contributions to the school
For success with honor

Fruitcakes on the campus
Fruitcakes through downtown
Struttin' naked through Happy Valley
During Blue-White weekend

Half-baked cookies in the oven
Half-baked people aboard CATA
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in all of us Penn Staters

And then there's the future... we're here!

Thirteen years since the millenium
And three years since my graduation
I still remember that memorable day
Like it was yesterday

So I'll put on my Blue Band CD
And sing the Alma Mater
"For the glory of Old State
For her founders strong and great"

Stay in touch with my insanity
There is no other damn way
It's a jungle out there, Penn Staters
Yinz have a very fruitful day

Fruitcakes on the campus
Fruitcakes through downtown
Struttin' naked through Happy Valley
During the Mifflin Streak

Half-baked cookies in the oven
Half-baked people aboard CATA
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in all of us Penn Staters