There are times when I check the mirror and cry
There are times when I question rather he is licensed
I'll never forgive my barber
(I'll never forgive you)

Hair got long so I headed to a salon
But something's wrong cause ev'ryone around me's laughing
They all just started laughing

Turns out most of my hair is gone--What is left
It Shoots straight out in five quite different directions
It just might hurt you buddy

I will never go back there my friend
I hope this don't start a new trend, buddy
I'll never trust that one again 'cause

Every strand is red
Like I bled all week
and these pony tails
Don't look right you'll see
Watch out or he might
Make your fam'ly freak
Wish that darn barber
hadn't worked on me

(No never again ooh )
He made brand new split ends
(No never again )
I think he cut my head
(No Never again ooh)
I stood out in crowds
(No Never again ohh)
I'll try someone new

So I tried someone new the next week
I passed out
When I woke my hair was covered up in bright blue spikeys
Thick rock hard bright blue spikeys
I stood up and I heard someone
Scream in pain
They touched me and now they're bleeding badly
They shouldn't have touched the spikeys

I tried to wash it again and again
Then I tried to mix blonde colors in lordy
but as I tried lost my fingers and limbs 'and

My head it now glows
Like a Christmas Tree
Colors fill my hair
Makes me look crazy
Like a disco light
My head shines brightly
It's like a Skittles bag
Exploded on me

(How did this happen ooh )
The spikes were nailed in
(How did this happen ooh )
It gives off quite a stench
(How did this happen ooh)
Wanted something bold
(How did this happen)
This ain't what I meant!

Took a razor like Britney straight to my head
The damn thing broke and the police said it was a weapon
Yes my hair is now a weapon

What I'd do just to have my hair
Back again
My head is feeling really heavy lately
I need a hack saw frankly

Tried ev'ry knife I own
Sandpaper was too weak
Dulled it with my hair
I'll try gasoline
Do you have a light
Flames are bringing heat
Thought I might be scarred
Bad hair's still on me