Song Parodies -> "Not A Virgin? Call The Surgeon!"

Original Song Title:

"Bring Your Daughter... To The Slaughter"

Original Performer:

"Not A Virgin? Call The Surgeon!"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Note 1: In some parts of the world a woman must bleed on her wedding night or the man has the right to kill her to preserve his "honour". A barbarian custom sometimes not dropped by refugees to our parts of the world and partly because of that surgical restoration has been developed.

Note 2: Bruce Dickinson's singing is hard to pace, I've tried before without completing anything but a Maiden song always deserves another crack.

Honey you're getting close to twenty
And something blue is on your gown
Fast cars and dipsticks you've seen plenty
Heightened willows, shaken down
If erred and loving has been done
Before some dude becomes your man
You'd better get the proof undone
You can feign your whack door, avoid the bad scan

Not a virgin! Not a virgin! Call the surgeon!
Not a ho! Not a ho! Any mo'!
Not a virgin! Not a virgin! Call the surgeon!
Not a ho! Not a ho! Any mo'!
Any mo'!

Honey you've played to much of Simon
You fear not bleeding and you cry
But there's new remedy for hymens
Just bases third and cherry pie
So get out all your tight money
Design your amplitude
You can pay for a restored fanny
Cos you know there's no latitude

Not a virgin! Not a virgin! Call the surgeon!
Not a ho! Not a ho! Any mo'!
Not a virgin! Not a virgin! Call the surgeon!
Not a ho! Not a ho! Any mo'!

So pick up your telephone,
we'll stitch back, your crack,
don't groan, you can atone

Not a virgin?
Not a virgin?
Not a virgin?
Not a virgin?
Not a virgin?
Not a virgin?
Call the surgeon!

Etc

� Peter Andersson.

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Ashkicksass - October 16, 2004 - Report this comment

DKTOS, but LedOL at it as a poem...

Phil Alexander - October 16, 2004 - Report this comment

It's pretty much spot on, Ash - super, Peter :-)
btw, It's not a project of mine to do the whole Maiden back catalogue: there's too many, and a lot aren't very good parody material, but there is a chap on the IMBB who is.

Johnny D - October 16, 2004 - Report this comment

555, I'm laughing out loud for real! "You can feign your whack door"...."we'll stitch back, your crack"...."a restored fanny"....well....Peter, I think the attenuated magnetic field of the Earth at your latitude admits cosmic rays that (1) inspire your twisted brain to come up with lines like those, and, (2) inspired the women of Sweden to invent that Austin Powers' "pump" ...... ;-)

Know 1 can hear you dream - October 16, 2004 - Report this comment

Phil: Is there a chap on the Iron Maiden Bulletin Board who are doing parody of their entire catalogue, or a chap that is very good parody material? Either way, you should get him over here! :-)

Johnny: A tourist on visit in Sweden: "What do you Swedes do all summer?"
"Sometimes we go fishing and sometimes we have fun with the women"
"And what do you do all winter?"
"We don't go fishing".

Dee Range - October 17, 2004 - Report this comment

Funny as hell. Great job, K1. 555

Phil Alexander - October 18, 2004 - Report this comment

k1chyd - the former... and I do keep pointing them over here for IM parodies. And I've done this great parody to Transylvania ;-)

Susanna Viljanen - October 18, 2004 - Report this comment

Excellent - 555. Yes, and IMO calling such usage as Medieval is an insult on our Catholic and Pagan forefathers and -mothers. Treating women as merchandize is simply barbarian and not defendable on any cultural arguments.

Know 1 can hear you dream - October 18, 2004 - Report this comment

Phil: It doesn't happen to be Chris Pollman, does it? Seems to be the name here who has the most Iron Maiden parodies to his name:

http://www.amiright.com/cgi-bin/parody_search.cgi?ORIGAUTHORIron%20MaidenORIGAUTHOR

Led/Floyd - July 06, 2005 - Report this comment

It is good but has some parts that don't go with the songs still great though.

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