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Song Parodies -> "Bets On Rigged Races"

Original Song Title:

"Friends in Low Places"

Original Performer:

Garth Brooks

Parody Song Title:

"Bets On Rigged Races"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

A con-man's sales pitch!
See these criminal bru-u-utes?
I am in cahoots
With them because I don't play fai-air
Punches won't thro-ow
No guns to show
More cunnin' than that, got more of a fla-a-are
Violence isn't our vi-i-ice
Though we're still not that nice
We express it in diff'rent wa-a-ays
We're askin' you
To join up with our mean crew
And come to the horse track toda-ay

Cause we pla-ace bets on rigged races
Horses runni-in' round
There's a good basis of ca-ash to gai-ain
Make it work our wa-a-ay
Yeah, not a-as fun as punchin' faces
But that tends to-o leave a lot o-of traces
So-o-o we place be-e-ets on ri-i-igged race-e-es

Easy to pull o-o-off
When you're with the mo-ob
Who knows which is the best ho-orse
Which jockey to bri-ibe
To turn a blind eye
To unde-erhanded tricks galo-o-ore
The trick is, you see-ee-ee
To hide all our mea-eans
So all the punters won't noti-i-ice
And I think you might
Have enough pull and power
To pull off these tri-icks

Help us pla-ace bets on rigged races
Make the poor ma-an frown
While our cash raises, join u-up toda-ay
Because crime can pa-a-ay
Long as you-ou stay in the good graces
Of the cops i-in town, which means no-o traces
Whe-e-en you place be-e-ets on ri-i-igged race-e-es

Yes, we'll pla-ace bets on rigged races
You can't turn u-us down
Or you'll be facin' my thu-ugs, oka-ay?
You don't want that pai-ai-ain
I might ha-ave your spine dislocated
Though that would ma-ake me feel so e-elated
Wa-a-ant to place be-e-ets on ri-i-igged race-e-es

Got to pla-ace bets on rigged races
Thought you had a-a frown
A smirk's replaced it, that see-eems oka-ay
Or is this foul pla-a-ay?
Hang on, I-I recognise your face, it's
Slippin' my mi-ind now, but I ho-ope, mate, you'll
Sti-i-ill help place be-e-ets on ri-i-igged race-e-es

Help us pla-ace bets on rigged races
Wait, you're pulli-in' out
A cop's badge, hey that sure wou-ould explai-ain
That smirk on your fa-a-ace
Well, I fee-eel dumb, I'd best be racin'

That would be awkward.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   2
 2
 2
 
 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

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Jonathan - November 04, 2015 - Report this comment
they conned me out of $555 that way!
Rob Arndt - November 05, 2015 - Report this comment
I'll give you 10:1 odds this ain't gettin' no 5s! J/K TCOP- 555!

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