I don't ever leave my house and I'll explain to you why
It seems my neighbours are all assholes of a mixture of types
You may think it's just an issue with the left and the right
But no, in fact, the whole area has lost their minds

Look, I'm stayin' in my house tonight
You can't lure me out, I'll sit tight
One phrase I keep "don't walk my block"
Won't be divergin', it keeps me alive
Dude, I'm stayin' in my house tonight
You can join with me if you'd like
But just repeat "don't walk my block"
To list their problems could take all damn night

Sick of all the metal music from the fratboys next door
I can't remember the last time they didn't party 'til four
On the other side of me is a man so pristine
He ordered that his gardener destroy my peach-type trees

Look, I'm stayin' in my house tonight
Nuisances on ev'ry damn side
Phrase I'll repeat "don't walk my block"
Or they'll have meetin's with my sharpest knife

This one lady sends complaints my way near ev'ry week
Because I guess it's my fault that three houses from me
Lives some dude renovatin' with large feck-off chainsaws
Why should I go intervene? I never walk round this block

One house has rave parties, it's so hard to sleep
Another's filled with racist jerks who scream hate speech
Knock on my door just to tell me how I need to stop
Hummin' Nas while checkin' my damn mailbox

Please, I'm stayin' in my house tonight
If you're comin', knock just one time
Because my phrase "don't walk my block"
Makes me throw rocks
Geez, I'm stayin' in my house tonight
I can't order pizza, alright
They keep that phrase "don't walk my block"
As hard as rocks

Half the block keeps askin' if I'll be a shut-in tonight
Once more ignorin' all the cardboard "please leave me alone" signs
Sure, the first few weeks I came in, I was pleasant and nice
That was all before you proved you won't return in kind

'Fraid I'm stayin' in my house tonight
And I'll stay that way my whole life
I've got the phrase "don't walk my block"
Burned in my mind
Seems I'm stayin' in my house tonight
Neighbours grant zero peace of mind
No, I'm not a dog hater, just your loud ones, alright?

Look, I'm stayin' in my house tonight
I don't think that you have the right
To take my phrase "don't walk my block"
As some affront when you treat me like shite
Dude, I'm stayin' in my house tonight
Shut the doors and the windows tight
Though I may say "don't walk my block"
I've never done it, might set it alight