I can't fly at night,
I'm not really blind,
I feel compelled to fight,
'Cause I'm half out of my mind.

I'm not just a man,
I'm not just a bat,
I find bad guys and I pound 'em flat
It's quite easy to be mean ...

A little spoiled rich snot,
Until right in front of me
I saw both my folks get shot
And it scarred me mentally,

They call me a hero
I'm not really brave,
I've just been kissed by a rose from the grave
A regular guy
Just doing my best
To make everyone forget about Adam West
That's not easy; he's on TV ...

I don't have a catch-phrase like "Shazam"
Or "Flame on",
And I don't sleep upside-down ...
(OK, maybe ... once in a while)

I can't fly at night,
Just drive 'round in the dark
In a high-tech armored car
That's impossible to park

I'm more than a man,
I'm more than a bat,
My best friend's a bird and my girlfriend is a cat,
I'm rich and single,
I spend all my time
Trying not to get killed fighting crime,
A regular guy,
Half-man and half-bat
It's not easy ......

It's not easy ...
To be ...
A multi-million-dollar-marketing-franchise-for-DC-Comics-and-Warner-Brothers-Studios ...