[Pigeon]
May I have your Birdseed please?
May I have your Birdseed please?
Will the real Funky Pigeon please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Funky Pigeon please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here..

Y'all act like you never seen a funky pigeon before
Jaws all on the floor like Ayane, like Ein just burst in the door
And started kicking her ass worse than before
Their calling the law, throwing over furniture
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
he didn't just eat what I think he did, did he?"
And Anon said... nothing you idiots!
Anon's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
Feminist Pigeons love Funky Pigeon {*vocal turntable:
chigga chigga chigga*} "Funky Pigeon, I'm gonna kick him
Look at him, flying around eatin his god-knows-what
eatin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
Yeah, I probably got lots of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than what's goin on in your pigeons' bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
but it's cool for wenguin to not have a clue.
"What word is on your lips, what word is on your lips"?
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it to a little kid
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's [Ahem] is
Of course they gonna know what enterprise is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Sci-fi Channel don't they?
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us are Hannibal Lectors
who cut other people open like cantaloupes {*SLURP*}
But if we can ride animals and antelopes
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't smoke dope
But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Pigeons wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes

Chorus: pigeon (repeat 2X)

I'm Funky Pigeon; yes I'm the real pigeon
All you other Funky Pigeons are just imitating
So won't the real Funky pigeon please fly up,
please fly up, please fly up?

[pigeon]
Eminem gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
well I don't, so cluck to him and cluck to you too!
You think I wiegh a gram like my Granny?
Half of you humans can't even stomach me, let alone eat me
"But pigeon, what if you sing, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys could just tie me up to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Spasticated penguin?
To bite him, Colonel Gernal better switch me chairs
so I can sit next to sabriel and Lyra .
and hear 'em argue over who eats who toes first
That M1 ditch, put me on tasks in the PNP.
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's eat him, tee-time!"
I should download that audio on MP3
and show the whole world how you gave Funky pigeon a DT {*AHHH!*}
I'm sick of those little girls and boys, all you do is annoy me
so I have been sent here to digest you {*burp
And there's only three of us just like me
who cuss like me; who just don't give a cluck like me
who don't dress like me; walk, talk and don't act like me
and just might be the next best milner but not quite me!

Chorus

[Pigeon]
Seen that movie road trip, you missed it too, cause I'm only givin you
things you play about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is Tom C**** hasn't got the balls to say it
in front of y'all and he gotta be false and sugarcoated humping that wall.
I just get on the mic and eat it
and whether you like to admit it {*ERR*} I just bit it
better than ninety percent of you slappers can
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like octopus's
It's funny; cause at the rate Gernel's goin when he's thirty
He'll be the only person in the nursin home lurkin
Pinchin nurses assets and makin off with millions
And I'm lurkin but this whole bag of sugar isn't working
And every single person has a Funky Pigeon lurkin
He could be eatin at Burger King, eatin all your onion rings
{*chomp*} Or in the parkin lot, circling
Screaming "stupid clutch!"
with his Xbox down and his fingers up,
so will the real funky pigeon please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta all your minds and outta control
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

Chorus 2X