May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?!
Will King George the Third listen up! I repeat,
Will King George the Third listen up! We're gonna have a problem here...

Y'all act like you've never seen a new country around,
Men all over the ground like the dogman finally opened the pound,
And y'all decided to mess with the meanest bloodhound, didn't wanna be sound 'cuz he didn't like his countries 'crowned, (Ahh!)
It's the return of the...aw, wait, no wait, you're kidding...That is the same guy dissing on the taxation policy,
Thomas J. said...No taxation you Eng-a-lish, without our say it's not fair (ha ha),
Equal rights for all, write this down,
(chiggi-chiggi-chiggi) Great Britain we're sick of them, (get) rid of them,
Walkin' around tryin' to stay in our towns,
Thinkin' "They're so mad now. No more land for you now."
Yeah, we definitely got a couple of quarrels to discus,
But there's no way that they're ever gonna listen to us,
Sometimes we wanna go over to you and just let loose,
But we can't so we're declaring independence, no more abuse,
My quill is writing fast,
My quill is writing fast,
Declare us independent or the war will have to last,
And here's the message that we're conveyin' to George the Third:
We wanna make our own laws without waiting for your word,
To pursue what they wanna do and live under liberty and get the Discovery Channel our way,
We ain't nothin' but equals,
As I said in my sequal, we don't wanna continue to rebel,
But if you all can buy any tea and liberty and be happy and not board your army, why can't we?
So if you feel how I fell about the picket signs,
Don't wanna waste any more of your time,
Please sign on the dotted line.

Here's your last chance,
Declaration of Independence,
We're tired of being Britain's,
They're a kick in the pants,
So won't 'Merican delegates please sign here, please sign here, initial here,
Yes, for our descendants,
Declaration of Independence,
We want to freely advance,
So you're gonna have to transplant,
So won't 'Merican delegates please sign here, use this pen here, please sign here

The war has been going on for way too long already,
You're not ready for more, your economy being unsteady,
You think you can really take our army?
And we can barely stomach you,
Let alone stand you,
So King, what if we win, wouldn't you be screwed?
We're winning right now so just give up, dude,
You'll still be here up upon your throne,
But in America you'll be completely gone,
Before one more gun takes another burst,
While soldiers argue over who got their first,
As our guns continue to em-p-ty,
Into your men driving both us into pov(er-ty),
We just want to live our lives under liberty,
Maybe be the strongest in the world in 2003! (Yeah!)
I'm sick of your little laws are no fair,
They're taking us nowhere,
So you'll have to tax people elsewhere,
And there's tons of Americans who want rights like me,
Who fight like me,
Who just can't quite write like me,
Who will go smite all 'chee,
Walk, talk and think that we,
Might be the next best thing but not quite free.


So here's your last chance,
Declaration of Independence,
Waiting for your inevitable long-waited royal, royal truant,
So won't the 'Merican delegates please stamp here, please stamp here, write your full name here,
Want your absence,
Declaration of Independence,
So we don't have to keep displaying our awesome offence,
So won't the 'Merican delegates initial here, please sign here, please sign here.

When in the Course of human Events,
It becomes necessary for one People to dissolve the Political Bands which have connected them with another,
And to assume among the Powers of the Earth,
The separate and equal Station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them,
A decent Respect to the Opinions of Mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the Separation.
We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness -- That to secure these Rights, Governments are instituted among Men,
Deriving their just Powers from the Consent of the Governed,
Yo, sing it!

I represent,
Declaration of Independence,
So we can have the right to print up our own dollars and cents,
So won't the 'Merican delegates write your full name here, please sign here, thumbprint here,

War is intense,
Declaration of Independence,
We're tired of every day putting up our defense,
So won't the 'Merican delegates please sign here, credit card number here, put your full name here,

Bullets to dispense,
Declaration of Independence,
Don't make us have to go all Mike Tyson-se,
So won't the 'Merican delegates please sign here, not over here, dotted line, here!

Tired of your incense,
Declaration of Independence,
We don't want to be forced to give your soldiers room rents,
So wont the 'Merican delegates write right here, agree right here, make our relations clear,

Ha ha,
I guess that puts an end to this war,
Come on, let's all go home.