May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Comedian please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Comedian please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here

Y'all act like ya never seen a comedian before
Bodies all on the floor when I make you laugh and bust a gut
And you all started laugh about joke better then before
They first Laughed , busting a gut on the floor
Its joke about the Crowbar
"Ah, wait I love this joke shut up
he just said what I think he did, did he?"
And Foxworthy said...
Nothing you idiots! Foxworthy's lame, he got out a week ago
Feminist women love comedian's
Comedian dan, I love him hes so funny
Look at him, walking around grabbing Microphone
Flipping the Switch, yeah, but he's so cute though"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But the worse is what's going on in the managers bedroom
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
But it's cool for eminem to insult a comedian
(Hes humping a dead mouse and he might like it too)
And if I'm lucky, he might get malaria too
Comedians like to insult folks
And expect them not to blow up at them
Of course there going to blow up there lame
By the time they leave
The damn shows over anyway
They aint just laughing there sceaming this guy cracks me up
But if comedian can make you laugh then don't insult them
Then there's no reason that a man should insult people
But if you feel like I feel, I got the anecdote
I just make them laugh while they sing

I'm Comedian, yes I'm the real comedian
All you other comedian are always yakking
So won't the real comedian please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up

Cuz I'm comedian, yes I'm the real Median
All you other comedian are always yakking
So won't the real comedian please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up

George carlin has to cuss in his skits to sell his records
Well I don't "screw him and screw you too
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics don't even know me let alone care about me
"But Dan, what if you laugh, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys could just insult me some more
Like you did to eminem for speaking his mind
Jeff foxworthy better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Christina Aguilera and mandy moore
And hear them argue over who who gets me first
"Yeah, he's cute, I want him first HEHE
I should download my audio on MP3 and show the whole world
how I gave this world a laugh
I'm sick of you media people
All you do is annoy me so I have been sent here to bust you
And there's a million of us just like me
Who tell it like me and don't give a crap like me
Who dress like me; walk, and tell jokes like me
And just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

I'm Comedian, yes I'm the real comedian
All you other comedian are always yakking
So won't the real comedian please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up

Cuz I'm comedian, yes I'm the real Median
All you other comedian are always yakking
So won't the real comedian please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up


I'm like a comedian to listen to cuz I'm only giving you
Things you joke about with your friends inside your bedroom
The only difference is I 've got the brains to say it
In front of y'all and I don't gotta be mean or sugar coated
I just get on a mic and spit it and whether you like to admit it
I just made you laugh better then all the comedians out there
Then you wonder how can people laugh so hard to a guy
It's funny cuz I was working at it when 14
I was the only person making all you people laughing
Copy and pasting all the jokes I thought of
Said I'm Poking when I was really not
And every single person laughs to a comedian
He could be working hard at midnight making up lines to make you laugh
Or in the bed with his wife thinking up stuff to say
With his wife snoring and him telling her to be quite
So, will the real comedian please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta ya mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

I'm Comedian, yes I'm the real comedian
All you other comedian are always yakking
So won't the real comedian please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up

Cuz I'm comedian, yes I'm the real Median
All you other comedian are always yakking
So won't the real comedian please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up

I'm Comedian, yes I'm the real comedian
All you other comedian are always yakking
So won't the real comedian please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up

Cuz I'm comedian, yes I'm the real Median
All you other comedian are always yakking
So won't the real comedian please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up

Ha ha
Guess there's a comedian in all of us
talk it all up laugh