Elf: May I have your attention please!
Elf: May I have your attention please!
Elf: Will the Real Slim Santa please stand up!
Elf: I repeat!
Elf: Will the Real Slim Santa Please Stand UP!

*Pause...

Elf: We're Gonna have a problem here.

You'll act like you never seen Santa before,
Toy's all over your floor,
Who the hell you think brought them,
it wasn't drunk dad or your mother that whore,
Now sit down and ill tell you the score

It's the return of Christmas,
but not the jolly fat elf.
My butt got so big i couldn't wipe it myself!
And my docter said, "Santa, you've never looked worse,
lose 200 pound or your hearts gonna burst!"
Everybody loved me' big and fat, Ho Ho Ho!
big assed santa, look at him walkin 'round
his belly like jelly, have some more Egg Nog!
They didn't give a shit if my artey's clogged.
So i said forget them and i joined a gym.
Started eating low fat cookies,
drinkin milk that was skim!
and man it sucked but i got use to it
throwing away the c and

I lost so much weight that i could see my feet again,
and Mrs. Clause is happy im getting less fat,
im drinking ornage juice in a glass thats filled to the rim!




Your name is on my list!
Your name is on my list!
And if you nice not nuaghty i might give you a little gift.


If you aint nothing but chubby, no girl wants a fat hubby!
You'll end up working construction...
Your love life lies in ruin and destruction!
By the time your thirty youll be askin santa for lypo-suction!
But if your thin, youll get suduction,
under neight the mistle toe, sing the chours and it goes...!


I'm Slim Santa, Yes im the real Kringle,
all you fly girls like my balls cuase' they jingle!
So won't the real slim santa please stand up, please stand up, please stand up!
Cuase' I'm Slim Santa, Yes im the saint nick,
all you other fat santas' are just smelly big priks!
So won't the real slim santa please stand up, please stand up, please stand up!

Ho, Ho, Hoo!
I guess there's a SLim Santa in all of us.
On Donner, On BLitzen...
WestSide! (Echoes!)