I was feeling fine
Then things went wrong
Burnt the ends of my fingers
On some baking scones
Fell into potholes
I'm an unhurt man
When bad luck comes calling
Call the ambulance van

Broke, broke arm
Fractured knee too
Guess i'm unlucky maybe
All black and blue

Call the ambulance
It's a deadly world
It's two legs breaking
In two similar years
Please call the ambulance
The ambulance
The ambulance please call

Just a misunderstanding
I've fallen flat
Stuck in a hospital prison
Injured with a bat
I've lost my elbow
My wrists can't turn
The shears'll damage
And acid burns

Broken shoulder
Broken by you
You dropped the ladders baby
When I passed through

So call the ambulance
It's a simple turn
It's my two arms aching
With three seperate burns
Call the ambulance
The ambulance
Call the ambulance right now

Cold cold cast
Hard, unremoved
It has to stay on there baby
For a month or two

Call the ambulance
It's a well-known word
My two arms broken
Into seperate thirds
So call the ambulance
The ambulance
Please the ambulance at home

The ambulance will call

No ambulance at all?

An ambulance that's all