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Song Parodies -> "Annoying Braces"

Original Song Title:

"Wide Open Spaces"

Original Performer:

Dixie Chicks

Parody Song Title:

"Annoying Braces"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Doc doesn't know why I'm sulking about
My teeth are all chrome, lips are puffed out
Called "Tinsel Teeth", well I can't help but groan
They're placed in the mouth, a frustration I've known

Meetings proceed with a spit and a swallow
A teenager screams no dating will fallow
Makes a misshaped girl's face, depressed
The doctor molds for me, and I am so stressed

With my Annoying braces
Truth behold within my face
Repair tooth spaces
No longer chews those steaks

I've swallowed gum packs as a child
Now I am not grinning, tooth stuck with wires
Now I'm being forced to see orthodontist
He'll give me long lectures, and I am pissed

With my Annoying braces
Truth behold within my face
Repair tooth spaces
Ain't that how cookie breaks

It blows with toothaches

As I'm with my hot date, he can't tell, teeth of foil
We're bare in his Pinto; I'm a disbelieving girl
He said, "Your kiss is nice, but you can let go"
But I'm stuck there, locked teeth, like, Uh-oh!!!

Damn My Annoying Braces
Truth behold within my face
Repair tooth spaces
I made some mistakes

It blows with toothaches
Ain't that how cookie breaks

Annoying Braces!!!

No longer chews those steaks
God knows for Christ-est sakes!!!

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   4
 5   11

User Comments

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alvin rhodes - June 15, 2006 - Report this comment
you said a read
Red Ant - June 15, 2006 - Report this comment
I've had braces too, and can say that Sugar Babies are stronger than the glue used to hold on braces. The gender change was a nice touch too.
AFW - June 16, 2006 - Report this comment
This one is wired pretty good..
tomario - June 18, 2006 - Report this comment
"tinsel teeth" made me chuckle is it inspired by the badly drawn boy video
Paul Robinson - June 19, 2006 - Report this comment
Good job on a difficult OS to work with. On that note, I'm giving you "4-5-5" - I found the pace a little too choppy in a few places, for instance, "Now I'm being forced to see orthodontist" - The OS says "Now he won't be coming back with the rest" - 10 syllables - you've got 11 syllables there and you had to compromise the grammar and leave out "an" between "see" and "orthodontist" to make it come close to working. Now if you were to use "Now I am seeing an orthodontist" you could actually sing that line without cutting your lip or tongue with those nasty-old braces when you try and match the OS syllable placement and emphasis. You could also use "I'm being forced to see an orthodontist", and that would be fair and still use the word "forced" if you felt you needed to emphasize that facet, but the draw-back is that you would still be using 11 syllables instead of 10. It works pretty well for me when I sing it...not as good as my first suggestion, but better, I think, than your original one. Now, with all of that said, you still have a good parody here. The only reason I picked it apart a bit was that I used this OS for a parody once and, yes, I found it very difficult to work the pacing took me SEVERAL hours to iron out each and every line, say what I wanted to say, and then still have it work out cleanly...I record voice-overlays for all my pieces unless I don't have a recording to work with (I almost never write a parody anymore unless I do have one), so I know when it matches and when it doesn't. It took me a whole lot of re-writes...but since I was writing the parody about how hard it is to pace this particular OS I figured it needed to be spot-on and spotless in that category...and you know what? Somebody STILL dinged me a point on pacing...which, by the way, gnawed on me since I KNEW it was as clean as a whistle ~ ~ ~
Matthias - June 19, 2006 - Report this comment
At least your 4-5-5 is better than that jerk-waaaaad who gave me the 4-4-4 I know that the humor was humorous!!!!
Paul Robinson - June 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Matthias - Yeah...well, the scoring IS arbitrary. Pacing flaws would only affect my "Funny" vote if it was so atrociously bad as to hamper the humor, and that certainly wasn't the case with yours. I'd like to add that I only went on a bit in my comments because I like a lot of your stuff quite a bit and I think you are good enough now to be able take a tough OS like this it to a slightly higher level and really nail it down.
Rex - June 25, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC) This brought a (metallic) smile to my face.
Agrimorfee - June 27, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3) Memories of my teenage years once again! I don't know whether I should thank you or slap you--j/k. 555
Stuart McArthur - July 01, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3) written from a female perspective no less, Matthias? - I recall Laurie Partridge's braces from the Partridge family actually picked up KZOK Seattle Radio - 555
Johnny D - July 01, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC) I had braces ... a million years ago!
Red Ant - July 03, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3) See above!
Arwen - July 04, 2006 - Report this comment
ABC--funny funny funny!! I loved this, Matthias! I never had braces so I can't relate...but the images are just hilarious!
Max Power - July 04, 2006 - Report this comment
Ethan Mawyer - July 04, 2006 - Report this comment
ABC3A - I just know about one line of the original song, and have luckily had no experience with braces, but this looks well done to me.
Below Average Dave - March 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks for posting this at "Pimp Your Parodies" over at badave Matthias, it looks like it's an older piece by you--I have never had braces, but I think I need them. . .Good job on a song that, well, we'll just say isn't my cup of tea;)
bobpiecheese - October 03, 2018 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Never had braces myself, but I know that if I did, my naturally fidgety nature would mean that I'd constantly get my tongue caught in 'em. Pretty good parody for being so old and crusty. 555 dental appointments!

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