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Song Parodies -> "That Dutch Guy, Relf"
Original Song Title:
"I Touch Myself"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Divinyls
Parody Song Title:
"That Dutch Guy, Relf"
Parody Written by:
Kristof Robertson
The Lyrics
OK, so this is about a dude from Holland who...oh, just work it out for yourselves....
[*Hulloo, groovy neighbor! Mijn naam is Relf...wanna shmoke?*]
He comes from Delft
He moved in above me
For about an hour
Ev'rything was lovely
He put up shelf
In clogs that were thump-y
Now he spends his wealth
On cheap ho rumpy pumpy!
He's no good for my mental health
I can't understand him; that Dutch guy, Relf
I don't want any of his filth
Oh no, oh no, oh no
He's the one who smokes the wacky baccy
He walks around naked at night
I'm pretty sure...he runs a brothel
Or he just digs red lights...
He bakes hash cakes
And eats stinky cheeses
He parks his bike
Just wherever he pleases
He loves to dance
Freaks out on a "cool trip"
If I had half a chance
He'd be pushing up tulips!
He's no good for my mental health
I say, Amster-damn him! That Dutch guy, Relf
I don't want any of his filth
Oh no, oh no, oh no
[INSTRUMENTAL]
That Dutch guy, Relf
Midnight guitar wailin'
A godawful sound
(He's) no Eddie Van Halen
Can't help myself
'twould give me a big thrill
If I could tie Relf
To the blade of a windmill!
He's no good for my mental health
What a rotter-damn him! That Dutch guy, Relf
I don't want any of his filth
Oh no, oh no, oh no
I ain't through!
Leaky dykes? Netherlander filth!
I'd kick him in the Heineken, Dutch guy Relf
Ooooh ooooh....Van Hoogenwijkerveldt!
He's no good for my mental health
Gouda and Edam him! That Dutch guy, Relf
I don't want any of his filth
I Ann Frank-ly can't stand him; that Dutch guy, Relf
Too-much guy, Relf!
That Dutch guy, Relf!
Too-much guy, Relf!
That Dutch guy, Relf!
That Dutch guy, Relf!
Too-much guy, Relf!
F*ck Dutch guy Relf...
And Rembrandt sucks too!
That Dutch guy, Relf.....(fade)
He comes from Delft
He moved in above me
For about an hour
Ev'rything was lovely
He put up shelf
In clogs that were thump-y
Now he spends his wealth
On cheap ho rumpy pumpy!
He's no good for my mental health
I can't understand him; that Dutch guy, Relf
I don't want any of his filth
Oh no, oh no, oh no
He's the one who smokes the wacky baccy
He walks around naked at night
I'm pretty sure...he runs a brothel
Or he just digs red lights...
He bakes hash cakes
And eats stinky cheeses
He parks his bike
Just wherever he pleases
He loves to dance
Freaks out on a "cool trip"
If I had half a chance
He'd be pushing up tulips!
He's no good for my mental health
I say, Amster-damn him! That Dutch guy, Relf
I don't want any of his filth
Oh no, oh no, oh no
[INSTRUMENTAL]
That Dutch guy, Relf
Midnight guitar wailin'
A godawful sound
(He's) no Eddie Van Halen
Can't help myself
'twould give me a big thrill
If I could tie Relf
To the blade of a windmill!
He's no good for my mental health
What a rotter-damn him! That Dutch guy, Relf
I don't want any of his filth
Oh no, oh no, oh no
I ain't through!
Leaky dykes? Netherlander filth!
I'd kick him in the Heineken, Dutch guy Relf
Ooooh ooooh....Van Hoogenwijkerveldt!
He's no good for my mental health
Gouda and Edam him! That Dutch guy, Relf
I don't want any of his filth
I Ann Frank-ly can't stand him; that Dutch guy, Relf
Too-much guy, Relf!
That Dutch guy, Relf!
Too-much guy, Relf!
That Dutch guy, Relf!
That Dutch guy, Relf!
Too-much guy, Relf!
F*ck Dutch guy Relf...
And Rembrandt sucks too!
That Dutch guy, Relf.....(fade)
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 12 | 12 | 12 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Brilliant! This was all great but "Amster-damn him!" put it over the top for me. Thanks for fulfilling my request!
Very good Kristof! Another SOTM candidate? 555
I pictured the Goldmember from Austin Powers singing this, "It's that vierd?"
Wonderful stuff, Kristof! Loved all the fun 'n puns (...pushin' up tulips... kick him in the Heine-kin....Ha!). Here's three fives for you, and we don't even have to go Dutch!
Amster-damn him he he
wonderfully fresh concept
This one would be awesome as a recording, with the cool accent. Know vat I'm zaying?
Spins my humor windmill at a high speed...super writing, here
the "pushing up tulips line" was my biggest wow, KR, but the whole thing is just Too-much hilarious - not a Dutch reference you weren't able to twist to your own evil ends (guffawed at "Ann-Frankly can't stand him") - and the start was a beauty - 555
Thanks Cat, Jason, Matty, TJC, Ann, Al, AFW, and of course Stu. Cheers for issuing this challenge, Cat...it was much harder to do than I originially though, with the short lines, and not many words rhyming with "self". Matty; I might record this in the future, coz i love doing accents!
That was awesome, catchiness matched the OS!
This song was very funny, I liked it a lot. It's very catchy, and I realize not everything matched perfectly, but funny is funny.
Good stuff Kristof, I almost relfed myself laughing :)
very nice rhymes a little to mature for me but hay im twelve
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