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Song Parodies -> "The Cough Cough Song (Asbestos)"

Original Song Title:

"The Shoop Shoop Song (It's In His Kiss)"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"The Cough Cough Song (Asbestos)"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Asbestos is some nasty stuff and you definitely don't wanna mess with it, but can you recognize when you see it?
Verse 1: What’s this fiber?
How don’t you know?
Came out your wall, and it’s white as snow
(Are they strands of dust?)
Oh no, it’s not dead skin
(Could it be some rust?)
Oh no, it is not red

Chorus: If you wanna know
(Cough, cough, cough, cough)
What’s inside your home
(Cough, cough, cough, cough)
It’s asbestos
(That’s what it is, oh yeah!)

Verse 2: (Or is it powdered talc?)
Oh no, it’s not for tots
(Put it on my scalp)
Oh no, you better not!

Chorus: If you wanna know
(Cough, cough, cough, cough)
What’s under your floor
(Cough, cough, cough, cough)
It’s asbestos
(That’s what it is)
Oh no, it’s asbestos
(That’s what it is)

Bridge: Oh
Stay back
Don’t come close
Go wash all these tainted clothes
Value health? Let me tell you this
Don’t use asbestos!

Chorus: (Could it be charcoal ash?)
Oh no, it’s not burnt soot!
If you breathe in then you’re caput!
Cuz you gotta know
(Cough, cough, cough, cough)
Why your breathing’s slowed
(Cough, cough, cough, cough)
It’s asbestos
(That’s what it is)
Oh no, it’s asbestos!
(That’s what it is)

[Instrumental Break]

Bridge 2: Oh
Tensile, and heatproof too
Used to keep our houses warm
Was outlawed cuz it makes you sick
Damn that asbestos!

Chorus: (Oh it can’t be that bad)
C’mon don’t go astray!
You’ll not listenin’ to all I say!
You don’t wanna know
(Cough, cough, cough, cough)
How sick you can go
(Cough, cough, cough, cough)
From asbestos
(You’ll get real sick)
Oh! That asbestos
(That’s what it is)

Outro: Oh no, it’s asbestos
(That’s what it is)
Ooo, now teach your kids
(‘Bout asbestos)
It makes you sick
(Bad asbestos)
It’s asbestos
(That’s what it is)
Oh whoa!

[Fade out]
January 16, 2013. Please rate and comment! :)

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - January 17, 2013 - Report this comment
Blayde - Good to see you here. This one really choked me up. ;D
Matthias - January 17, 2013 - Report this comment
I have to give you all 5s cause you wrote this song asbestos you can.
Syncronos - January 17, 2013 - Report this comment
One of my first jobs was removing this stuff...I have to tell you this made me laugh! 555s
Lifeliver - January 17, 2013 - Report this comment
Brilliant! Deserves more votes and comments - my pick of the day. Great OS choice. I prefer the Betty Everett original, though Cher does a pretty good job with it. I'd been thinking about what I could do with this vehicle myself, but you beat me to it, splendidly so.
Rex - January 27, 2013 - Report this comment
So, I shouldn't be lining my coffee cup with asbestos? But it keeps my drink so hot! (cough cough) A fun AND educational parody!
Agrimorfee - January 31, 2013 - Report this comment
Matthias took the line I wanted to use. Eh well, this was toxically funny. Good call and response subs.
Max Power - February 04, 2013 - Report this comment
It is a good source of fiber...*drops dead*
Dave W. - February 05, 2013 - Report this comment
Good parody and title....I wonder how many thousands of schools still have it in their ceiling tiles ? I was a Insulator for over 25 years and I probably came in contact at least once and didn;t even know it.......Auto mechanics doing brakes back in my day were at risk all the time.....So many things that can kill you are out there , a lot of us find out too late
bobpiecheese - February 06, 2013 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Catchiest song about house insulation EVAH! 555!

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