My bladder says "Party time!"
It keeps nudging from behind
And I can't hold back
Though I'm still in the sack

It's a drag to awaken
Though this thing must be shaken
But I'm too tired to hoist a ton
I'm gonna be the moistened one, oh

Do you relieve yourself in your pants
I admit, for me, it is the norm
I really must say it's wet and warm, now

Do you relieve yourself in your pants
I can feel something inside my shorts
It's kinda like playin' water sports, yeah

Now I'm at a fancy "do"
Stand around and guzzle brew
And I can't hold back
It's an urgent attack

There's a line to wait in
My resolve is fadin'
And there's no time, I'm full of beer
So I'll just do it standin' here, oh

Do you relieve yourself in your pants
There's a place and time for everything
And here and now's fine for piddling, yeah

Do you relieve yourself in your pants
You can see it plainly if you watch
The darkening stain around my crotch, now

So don't mind me while I do this
Cause it shouldn't take that long
Till I don't need to anymore
No, I won't need to anymore
Oh, I won't need to anymore
No, I won't need to anymore

Do you relieve yourself in your pants
It may seem a breach of etiquette
But what's the big deal with being wet, oh

Do you relieve yourself in your pants
If you're kinda shy, it should suffice
To put you at ease and break the ice, now

Do you relieve yourself in your pants
Call it "tinkling outside the box"
The only bad thing is soggy socks, yeah

Do you relieve yourself in your pants
I don't think that you can say there is
An easier way to take a whiz, now (fade)