Lying here, sick and all sneezy in these filthy bed-sheets
Trying hard to capture my thoughts, but it's not working for sh!t
Cause a bottle of nose-drops is lodged in my head
Some friends give me nightmares,
I think that they're still in my room
As I dream about someone who'll clean up my bed with a broom

The whole world is a blur
I wake up and French-kiss the stuffed toys
While some marching band keeps its own beat in my head and in my nose
And oh! all of the tissues I wanted to clean
So my bed won't look like a set for Mr. Bean
I just clean my nose
And eat, so I do not get thin

I'm laying down tonight in a bed of tissues
And I'll wake up sick as I was before
I'm coming down with a fever
I start to shiver
I'm lying down in a bed of tissues

Well, I'm really so sick
That each tissue I use is not lonely
A king's ransom in dimes
I'd give gladly to just breath through my own poor nose
Still I run out of tissues
It's hard to believe
I'm desperately wiping my nose with my sleeve
I'm trying to sneeze,
But my sinuses just will not give

I'm laying down tonight in a bed of tissues
And I'll wake up sick as I was before
I'm coming down with a fever
I start to shiver
I'm lying down in a bed of tissues

My miserable running nose, it just will not dry
The bed won't stay clean, no matter how hard I try
Oh, I might have laughed
But I sneezed so hard I think I died

When I close my eyes
I know I'll be thinking of tissues
While my sinuses call and remind their existence again
Tonight I know I won't sleep
But you know that don't mean I'm not sleepy
Got no tissues to use
And I fear I might die in this bed

I'm laying down tonight in a bed of tissues
And I'll wake up sick as I was before
I'm coming down with a fever
I start to shiver
I'm lying down in a bed of tissues