"Ha ha! Well now, we claim that we're doing this to help catch terrorists, but actually we're just field testing them until we can strike a deal with Hustler."

("We appreciate your compliance.")

Spread, girlie, spread, girlie;
Six gets our sticks right out.
We get to see the kind of stuff
Woody Allen would dream about.
As we glance at your glands,
We've been feeling our oats.
Yes, we're Janet, your Big Sister;
We're on trains, and we're on boats.
Can't get enough of the blue glove touch;
We want your skirt here on our ground.
We've got you covered and uncovered
Whether it's up or gets downed.
Not looking at your chest; we're looking at the rest;
With us, you know there is nothing you can hide.
Here we're coming; now we're seeing;
Soon we'll conquer and divide.

(Got you now!)
You can see plainly we don't mind our manners;
Like to do you like we view you on the TSA scanners.
(Viewin' the scan now!)
You can see plainly we don't mind our manners;
Like to do you like we view you on the TSA scanners.
(Gettin' touchy now!)

Gloves; the kind we feel up
With; don't raise a ruckus.
Let us check your sunken treasure trove
For your booty, and your tuckus.
Just three years old? Better do what you're told.
You might have a snuke between your knees.
Cryin' up an ocean; get the notion your commotion
Means no-fly advisories.
So between your thighs go our eyes;
High five! Low five! We're getting a firm grip.
Don't shake me off; Daddy and Mommy
Will have to cancel their trip.
Step on these circles on the floor.
Red light! Now spread those legs some more.
We'll have you crawling on all fours;
It's our business to touch yours.

(Got you now!)
You can see plainly we don't mind our manners;
Like to do you like we view you on the TSA scanners.
(Viewin' the scan now!)
You can see plainly we don't mind our manners;
Like to do you like we view you on the TSA scanners.
(Gettin' touchy now!)

You can see plainly we don't mind our manners;
Like to do you like we view you on the TSA scanners.
(Viewin' the scan now!)
You can see plainly we don't mind our manners;
Like to do you like we view you on the TSA scanners.
(Got you now!)
You can see plainly we don't mind our manners;
Like to do you like we view you on the TSA scanners.
(Viewin' the scan now!)
You can see plainly we don't mind our manners;
Like to do you like we view you on the TSA scanners.
(Gettin' feely now!)