I walked her home, it was a Sunday night
I lost my phone, she said it was shite
We got to her house
And she said what about the date
But then I wet myself yellow pee

And that's about the time she walked into the door
Nobody likes you when you stain the floor
And still carry bags of one pence pieces
What the hell's a tewnty?
My friends say I should get a wage
Whats my wage again?
Whats my wage again?

Then later on, on the pogo home
I saw her mom, oh no I got a bone
I said I was the cops
I don't know why I did
Then she tossed me a 10p

And that's about the time I had to be in work sorry
Nobody likes you when you're a garbage clerk with rabies
And are still more amused by white fescies
Why the hell did she puke on me?
My friends say I should get a wage
Whats my wage again?
Get out of my den.

And that's about the time I turned 43
Nobody likes you when you're a smelly
And you still are still short on cash for penny sweets
What the hell's a 20p?
My friends say I should get a wage
Whats my wage again?

And that's about the time I broke into another wee
Wish I could afford to do my own laundry
All I wanted was a haribo
With many years to wash finally
I never want to lose my wage
Whats my wage again?
I want to buy a tent.