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Song Parodies -> "Be A Pest"
Original Song Title:
"Be Our Guest"
Original Performer:
Beauty And The Beast Soundtrack
Parody Song Title:
"Be A Pest"
Parody Written by:
Jeff Reuben
The Lyrics
Youtube video for the OS: Be Our Guest
Jeff Reuben:
My esteemed mail order bride, with a remark so snide
I wrote your number inside the men's bathroom stall
And now, I'll spike your drink with ExLax, break the leg on your chair
As I heckle you loudly and scream
"You Ugly!"
Be a pest! Be a pest!
Play my trumpet while you rest
Tie your shoelaces in knots, yippee!
And laugh as you get stressed
Be a lush
Do not flush
Clean the john with your toothbrush
"What's that brown stuff?"
Poomaster:
That's disgusting!
Jeff Reuben:
For your sister, I'll be lusting
Tell your boss, you weren't sick
That you golfed and he's a prick
Throughout dinner I'll be staring at your chest
Driving mad cause of road rage
Tell the world your real age
Be a pest!
Be a pest!
Be a pest!
Jeff Reuben and Drunks From Hooters:
Borrow stuff
Be a leech
Wash your dark clothes with strong bleach
Jeff Reuben:
I will dare to pull your hair
Get in your way and flip your tray
On a date
Make you pay
Repeat everything you say
Ex-Girlfriend:
"You are so dumb and immature"
Jeff Reuben:
"You are so dumb and immature"
Set you up with Tech Fred
Pour spaghetti on your head
Drunks From Hooters:
And before you go to sleep
Short-sheet the bed
Now when I flick your ear
My friends will laugh and jeer
Cause I'm a pest
Jeff Reuben:
While you snore
Put your hand in warm water
Drunks From Hooters:
Be a pest! Be a pest! Be a pest
Jeff Reuben:
When the police arrive
Criticize the way you drive
Scaring little kids with evil teddy bears
Ah, let them know there is no Santa
They'll be scarred for life but I don't care
I'm branded a hater
Grope the hostess, trip the waiter
At the gym I switched the Gatorade with pee!
Today I will give away your kitty
Don't you wait for Cupid
Told him you're fat, drunk and stupid
Ex-girlfriend:
You're a jerk, you're so crass
In elevators pass gas
Hit on mom, said she's the bomb
And then you smacked her in the ass
Told my date, I was spayed
Barged in so I don't get laid
Set all my clocks back one hour
Flushed the toilet while I showered
Filled my suitcase with dung
Kissed my grandmother with tongue
Wow it stung, when you gave me a hornet's nest
Now that was just too crude
Hot peppers in my food
Stomach upset!
Drunks From Hooters:
Yes, you bet!
Ex-girlfriend:
I'll vomit!
Drunks From Hooters:
What a mess!
Be a pest! Be a pest! Be a pest!
Be a louse! Be a creep!
Shave one eyebrow while you sleep
Don't leave tips, take change off other tables
Because I'm cheap
Drink your beer, shake your Coke
Laugh too hard at stupid jokes
Lock you in your room with a skunk
Tell the world that your penis shrunk
Fill your sham...poo with Nair
Eat your last Bartlett pear
Bring a stripper to your wedding as my guest
In your crotch stick my knee up
Up your dress I'll see up
It's my quest
I can't rest
I'm obsessed
To be a pest
My esteemed mail order bride, with a remark so snide
I wrote your number inside the men's bathroom stall
And now, I'll spike your drink with ExLax, break the leg on your chair
As I heckle you loudly and scream
"You Ugly!"
Be a pest! Be a pest!
Play my trumpet while you rest
Tie your shoelaces in knots, yippee!
And laugh as you get stressed
Be a lush
Do not flush
Clean the john with your toothbrush
"What's that brown stuff?"
Poomaster:
That's disgusting!
Jeff Reuben:
For your sister, I'll be lusting
Tell your boss, you weren't sick
That you golfed and he's a prick
Throughout dinner I'll be staring at your chest
Driving mad cause of road rage
Tell the world your real age
Be a pest!
Be a pest!
Be a pest!
Jeff Reuben and Drunks From Hooters:
Borrow stuff
Be a leech
Wash your dark clothes with strong bleach
Jeff Reuben:
I will dare to pull your hair
Get in your way and flip your tray
On a date
Make you pay
Repeat everything you say
Ex-Girlfriend:
"You are so dumb and immature"
Jeff Reuben:
"You are so dumb and immature"
Set you up with Tech Fred
Pour spaghetti on your head
Drunks From Hooters:
And before you go to sleep
Short-sheet the bed
Now when I flick your ear
My friends will laugh and jeer
Cause I'm a pest
Jeff Reuben:
While you snore
Put your hand in warm water
Drunks From Hooters:
Be a pest! Be a pest! Be a pest
Jeff Reuben:
When the police arrive
Criticize the way you drive
Scaring little kids with evil teddy bears
Ah, let them know there is no Santa
They'll be scarred for life but I don't care
I'm branded a hater
Grope the hostess, trip the waiter
At the gym I switched the Gatorade with pee!
Today I will give away your kitty
Don't you wait for Cupid
Told him you're fat, drunk and stupid
Ex-girlfriend:
You're a jerk, you're so crass
In elevators pass gas
Hit on mom, said she's the bomb
And then you smacked her in the ass
Told my date, I was spayed
Barged in so I don't get laid
Set all my clocks back one hour
Flushed the toilet while I showered
Filled my suitcase with dung
Kissed my grandmother with tongue
Wow it stung, when you gave me a hornet's nest
Now that was just too crude
Hot peppers in my food
Stomach upset!
Drunks From Hooters:
Yes, you bet!
Ex-girlfriend:
I'll vomit!
Drunks From Hooters:
What a mess!
Be a pest! Be a pest! Be a pest!
Be a louse! Be a creep!
Shave one eyebrow while you sleep
Don't leave tips, take change off other tables
Because I'm cheap
Drink your beer, shake your Coke
Laugh too hard at stupid jokes
Lock you in your room with a skunk
Tell the world that your penis shrunk
Fill your sham...poo with Nair
Eat your last Bartlett pear
Bring a stripper to your wedding as my guest
In your crotch stick my knee up
Up your dress I'll see up
It's my quest
I can't rest
I'm obsessed
To be a pest
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 24 | 23 | 23 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
This, my friend, is a work of art! How your chronicled the behaviors of every casual to serious boyfriend I've ever had is beyond me, though. =)
p.s. There are a lot of things I can take...(obviously)...but giving away my kitty? Bastard.
p.s. There are a lot of things I can take...(obviously)...but giving away my kitty? Bastard.
I always knew that underneath that good guy exterior lurked a big fat jerk! I love him!
Is this the script, or maybe even the themesong, for Home Alone 555?
he he he
lol...hilarious little dialogue
You forgot the part about barging in with the camera and shouting, "Where's the party, Dude?".
Great job of carrying practical jokes to the extreme level
Lol poomaster reference
If (when) you record this, if you need someone to do the alternate parts--I'm raising my hand. Very well done, and believe it or not it's been long enough between Be Our Guest parodies for me to loosen up the "sick of this song being parodied" opinion a bit. You are on a bit of a roll lately, just like butter. . .I'm not as punny as you, but at least I try ;)
I thought this was hilarious... And as soon as I got to the line "Scaring kids with evil teddy bears" I actually let out an "Oh my God" and I had to comment down here before finishing, now back to the song.... Wow! This has to be one of the best that you have ever done, and I do mean EVER! I would be glad to give this my 5 points in the SOTM, even though this song has been very much over done.
Sir, Jeff, didn't mean to steal your 'apron', guy . . . I'll Fed Ex it back to ya !
SOTM - Already commented, you're still the best pest...
(SOTM) Wow! Surprised this hasn't been done before, and to such great heights of hilarity.
(SOTM) It's hard to raise the bar set by this song - it's been lampooned so heartily by the best of the best here, and you did a great job of clearing that particular high-jump. Most of the lines were lol-worthy zingers despite a few syllabic stress issues (a personal pet peeve of mine). This is definitely going in my top 5.
See above, I had a great laugh out of this, especially with the poomaster reference, Hooters and such.
(SOTM-Aug-08)
Wow! This is a huge bag of tricks with super-human pestidigitation. Described in one word - "jocularity"
Wow! This is a huge bag of tricks with super-human pestidigitation. Described in one word - "jocularity"
Well done, Jeff. Monumentous achievement with this. Good to see you still around these parts.
(SOTM) A few pacing stumbles here and there, though that may be due to me not listening to the OS for a long time. Other than that, fan-freakin'-tastic! One of the best Be My Guest's I've ever read! 555 for you, sir!
(SOTM) Oh my God-I am so sick of this TOS so sick of it--but my lord Jeff, that had me cracking up, what is it about this song that let's everyone master it. . .I don't get it. My favorite line of the many were when you had the girlfriend speak, and then repeated it in your line, simply brilliant.
I adore this song. I guess the reason why this song is often parodied on this site is because it's one of the easiest and funniest. Although the Gaston song has been spoofed a few times on here as well.
I thought I'd commented on this one already, first time around. But obviously not - it's actually very close to an idea I had for this song way back when (it's the one that morphosed into "See Your Chest", so I can't complain), some very similar ideas. So I have to say I think it's fantastic ;-)
Surprisingly I actually haven't heard this song in awhile... (Wow! Never thought I would mention those words about this song in a SOTM competition) so this actually hit the nail on the head for being one of your best works to date if not your very best work to date. Brilliant all around, and I'm still gushing about the Evil Teddy Bear line seeing that I created that character. Once a fan always a fan I suppose can also easily win SOTY as well as SOTM.
(ABC5B)
Still "pestacious" - See my comment above. This is a great piece of work.
Still "pestacious" - See my comment above. This is a great piece of work.
(ABC) Also in your mailbox, high points...
This one is top on my charts as one of your best I don't think I can say anymore than I already have, but this one is great, and after working at Disney World this OS brings back happy memories (Instead of being boring and repetitive as it once was because everyone likes using it in the SOTM comp.)
(ABC B) Excellent! The poomaster bit did raise a chuckle from me. Don't ask me why it just did!
Epic--see above.
I see I share this OS with you here in "the finals"
This was laugh-out-loud funny and energetic. The "You are so dumb and immature" gag stood out for me. Great!!!
This was laugh-out-loud funny and energetic. The "You are so dumb and immature" gag stood out for me. Great!!!
Um, see above x2, still plan on getting around to doing backing vocals to help you get this one recorded.
Spaff was right, this song brings out the best in even the best writers. Simply brilliant Jeff - TMGLTM. 555+ PS: Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we...
(ABC) so he does all that stuff AND he selfishly eats lone Bartlett pears - unbelievable! This was brilliant Jeff one of the best BOGs around because you just seem to know so much about pest behaviour - 555
(ABC) Funny stuff with lots of good gags and imagery. One criticism: I couldn't get the context of the song at first--exactly who was being a pest. Maybe you could've called it "I'm a Pest"--but then, you would've had to hold this spoof until the letter "I". 5-5-5.
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