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Song Parodies -> "I Find the Blogs"

Original Song Title:

"I Write the Songs"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Barry Manilow

Parody Song Title:

"I Find the Blogs"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Many online forms of self-expression are subject to Sturgeon's Law (that being "ninety percent of everything is crap"). This man is out to find the worst of the worst...
I've been online a little
And I've seen the very worst blogs
May seem a jerk to search them out to belittle
But they're stupid, so I'll find the blogs (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)

I'll find the blogs that make the whole world cringe (ooh-ooh-ooh)
I'll find the blogs for just the petty things (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh)
I'll find the blogs that make the linguists cry (ooh-ooh-ooh)
I'll find the blogs, I'll find the blogs (ooh-ooh)

The code is way beyond crude
The broken jpegs leave quite a hole
And the death threats pile really high
A perfect blend of bad and wrong, truth be told (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)

I'll find the blogs that make the whole world wince (ooh-ooh-ooh)
I'll find the blogs that can't spell anything (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh)
I'll find the blogs that make design folks cry (ooh-ooh-ooh)
I'll find the blogs, I'll find the blogs (ooh-ooh)

Oh, fan theories get so daft
Blogs filled with pictures of their own nads
Others have opinion polls ignored, that's rude
Heads up their own arse
And that's the better type, fails hard
Then there's me, must speak true, there's a few made by me (ah-ah-ah-ah)
From my online infancy (ah-ah-ah-ah)

I'll find the blogs that make the whole world cringe (ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
I'll find the blogs that rage at pointless things (ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
I'll find the blogs that make paid authors cry (ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
I'll find the blogs, I'll find the blogs (ah-ah-ah)
I'll find the blogs that make the whole world wince (ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
I'll find the blogs that brag about old flings (ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
I'll find the blogs that make those with hearts cry (ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
I'll find the blogs, I'll find the blogs (ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)

They're so stupid (stupid), so I'll find the blogs (ah-ah)
Ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah

Jpegs = jay-pegs, BTW. I was gonna have a line about the singerman putting these blogs on his own blog, but I ended up going with the "I've made my own shitty blogs in the past" bit.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 5   8
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jeff Reuben - January 10, 2018 - Report this comment
You accurately described a day of searching the web for whatever I can find, and the perils that come with it.
Agrimorfee - January 16, 2018 - Report this comment
I always tell you TCOP about how you need to "show, don't tell" in your parodies. You did a bit of that well here, so hat's off, a Like and a Follow tag of 555.
CML - January 16, 2018 - Report this comment
You should rename it "I Slight The Blogs" ;-D
Max Power - January 23, 2018 - Report this comment
Pretty much what blogs are.

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