I got up off my feet
I grabbed the mic stand
In the mic my lines
With a full sized band
The lines got all maligned
and folks threw what they dined

Yeah there's a Toad in My Throat
No cold I discerned
For then the very next minute
I can speak all I've learned
So I don't know how to make a sound sometimes

Never over
Never over
Cause my mishaps brought me shame

Cannot talk-am I a mime?
Big crowds, then I cannot speak
What problem is this that's afflicting me
Sounding coarse although I try
cannot sing man, no
This I swear, I see the crowd, and it's then

There's a Toad in my Throat
It makes me sound like I am severed
It's a sound that resembles dying crows
There's a Toad in my Throat
Yeah, I shouldn't try-never
'Cause my songs lack in ev'ry vocal tone
No, No

No at speech-time all my class mates pout
I can croak for years
Yeah my sound runs out
Most times I just choke, or fall to bits

I have no dictation from which to choose
Words stay in my head
Do I speak with a noose on?
No-but speech I still dread
This impediment of mine has me speaking in spits

but Class ain't over
Please be over
And it's stuck inside my brain

Wrote the words down, it was fine
But it just stayed inside of me
A frog is what I sound like nat'rally
Read a book-inside my mind
but not out loud, teach, you won't hear
I'm begging you teach yeah 'cause

There's a Toad in My Throat
and it's been in there forever
Hey Kermit could you leave my speech alone
There's a Toad in My Throat
Yeah, I don't sound too clever
'Cause I feel like all I can do is groan
No, No

(Kermit sings indecipherable lyrics through instrumental)

Yeah, now I'm older
Yeah, I'm older
And my speech is still a shame

Cannot utter out a line
Hey there frog inside of me
If I give you Smacks* would you let me be
Sounds like I speak from behind
I wrote it good sir, yeah, I swear
I'm hopping you'll keep in mind

There's a Toad in My Throat
No there's nothing that comes out clear
You would think that I swallowed froggies whole
There's a Toad in My Throat
Yeah, I can't get much out of there
I'd love to improve to monotone
Yeah, yeaaaaaaaaaaaaa-ah-yeaeyeahh

(Kermit humming in the background to fade)