I've furred around the clock since age twelve, you know
It's grows on my back and each single toe
Mama was all hirsute, like a hobit's was her feet
My father was a werewolf, and I've OCD

So I can't stop shaving
No, I can't stop shaving
Well, I can't stop shaving
'Long as there's a hair to find

At first I felt cool and I thought it was all right
Then I got humped by a shepherd one night
And goose bumps from powerlines an' microwaves
Had me realize that I must start to shave

Since I can't stop shaving
No, I can't stop shaving
Well, I can't stop shaving
'Long as there's a hair to find

I need some scissors for my toes, I need an edger for my crotch
And when I start mowing, it's work around the clock
I'm trimming my nose, lids on my eyes
But if the razor's broken I'm a Wookie by night

So I can't stop shaving
No, I can't stop shaving
No, I can't stop shaving
No matter if it's nay, nay, nay, nay, night or day
No matter if it's nay, nay, nay, nay, night or day, no, no