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Song Parodies -> "Birthrate Down Again"

Original Song Title:

"On the Road Again"

Original Performer:

Willie Nelson

Parody Song Title:

"Birthrate Down Again"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

My 110th WN OTRA parody! The German birthrate has now dropped to 1.9 children per family and as a result Germany with its huge population of nearly 90 million has lost 2 million in very short time. In the coming decades they will lose 20 million more if the trend continues, sparking fears of losing their robust economy and the Bundeswehr strength in troop size. The latter is very dangerous b/c Germany already has downsized the Heer through technological advances and restructuring for a new type of war. Most Western nations in this position simply increase retirement age by years and also use foreign laborers to fill the gap. But despite outside appearances and inside assurances, Germany is STILL xenophobic and you can work as a guest worker all your life in Germany and never get citizenship (example- the Turks). Politically, there are calls to revise citizenship rules, recruit the best workers from foreign countries, and extend retirement to age 67. OTOH, there are plans to use genetic and other biotech to increase fertility and the extreme concept of growing a fetus in a microwave sized machine from harvested eggs and donated semen. On top of that, the Bundeswehr wants to create a force of battle robots (ACRs) to preceded their future divided land froces of Jaegeren (Feldjaeger, Gebirgsjaeger, and Fallschirmjaeger). The machines would be mass produced by other robots and would be serviced and repaired by other robots (Arbots). I could go on about other war preparations but that is outside the scope of this topic!!! Japan, btw, has considered the same techniques using the same technologies!!! Gee, what a coincidence that both are making the same plans and bypassing their Constitutions on military weapons through loopholes ;-)
Birthrate down again
Population shrinkage for the Germans
One child per couple puts guest workers in demand
But xenophobia leads to another plan

Birthrate down again
At a level that it’s never been
Citizenship revision, dropping of bans
But xenophobia leads to another plan

Birthrate down again
Threat to the Bundeswehr and their economy
Fatherland must defend
Genetics and robotics to save the day?
German way, is tech revolution

Population shrinkage for the Germans
One child per couple puts guest workers in demand
But xenophobia leads to another plan
Note: Some vets have claimed that I only use half a dozen base songs to create my 2100 parodies. I counted my individual OS authors and the number is 402 of all genres and timeframes, not counting those that sing for TV theme sons, commercial jingles, the poets, and those that wrote hymns. The base songs have dominated 2013 only and during a general slow-down on my part as my goal was only 2000 parodies in record time. But since the 1-bombings, I am extending forward another 100+. I MAY take a break soon since I have written daily since 3/31/11!!!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 21

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   18

User Comments

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Patrick - August 15, 2013 - Report this comment
War Hater - August 15, 2013 - Report this comment
German birthrate down? Great news.
Rob Arndt - August 15, 2013 - Report this comment
Thanks WH... you should have left a 555 instead of a 111 if you really think that way. War also leads to technological advance and population control. With 7.1 billion and climbing and with the West in debt- we are long over due for another world war. I am being realistic and historically accurate. The US almost went to war in 1962 and 1968. War WILL come by 2018/20. The US and European war journals are making that assessment based on power projections, global terrorism, new weapons development IOC, and nuclear proliferation among the various factors.
Rob Arndt - August 15, 2013 - Report this comment
@Patrick, the Lebensborn program, as crude as it was genetically, still worked. The SS brothels were overhyped as both the men and the women had to be screened very carefully and the work was scientifically scrutinized to the smallest details. In addition, the SS confiscated blonde/blue-green from occupied nations West and East. Most were sorted through Germanization programs- even from the Ukraine. Another story seldom told in WW2 history and few children were recovered by their birth parents, esp. in the BeNeLux countries.
War Hater - August 15, 2013 - Report this comment
My comment about the the German birthrate was meant to be a sardonic reference to that country's deplorable place in 20th Century history. My scoring was based on my professional evaluation of the parody as art. I find it too dry to be effective parody; coming after the information provided in the introduction, it was repetitive and anti-climactic.

Regarding war leading to technological advances and population control, I hope you are not advocating a nuclear holocaust as justifiable in achieving those ends. Free markets and the competitive drive for achievement and wealth have done nicely for technology since the end of the Soviet-U.S. arms race. Population control through contraception has taken hold in developed countries, but many entities remain agrarian and tribal -- conditions which favor high birthrates, great local violence, and sanctuary for armed ideologues. Yet, the great wars uniquely occur when a nation threatens to surpass the current hegemon.

Since 1,500 A.D. there have been thirteen cases of one Great Power approaching or passing a hegemonic leader in economic or military terms. Of these, all but three ended in major war. In our time, the players are the U.S. and China. The journals you cite do predict a high probability of war arising out of a possible realignment of power. In my opinion, mutually assured destruction remains an overwhelming deterrent to war. Also, China will find that its government by Communist Party apparatchiks and its capitalist economy will come into conflict because the major creative engine and production capacity of a world power are maximum freedom, the ability to assimilate immigrants, the right to receive a first-class education and health care, intolerance of corporate and government corruption, and the opportunity to find fulfillment and prosperity for all its people.
Rob Arndt - August 15, 2013 - Report this comment
WH, you can do what you want. You are no threat to me. The Lebensborn project was crude genetics but worked in as far as the fictional "Aryan ideal" was concerned even though the SS had lowered their racial standards considerably throughout the war. And yes, the brothels kept scientific journals. As for your pathetic war knowledge, Germany actually was pushed into WW1 by a combination of factors like the British naval demands to keep the Kaiser's fleet inferior to the RN's, the French anger at their defeat in the Franco-Prussian War and the German Army the greatest land force in the world by 1900, and the events of Sarajevo that led Germany to back Austria while the Serbs were backed by a mobilizing Russia. War was inevitable and Germany enacted its plan as ALL went marching off to a war planned in the 19th century through various pacts. The resulting blame on Germany for everything and the ACC's bad actions mixed with occupation of the Ruhr, and the unfair Treaty of Versailles plus the Great Depression and Communists in the streets unchecked by the weak Weimar Govt... ALL led to Hitler being elected Chancellor in 1933. Hitler's mistake was not to listen to his General staff and arm for war into 1944 for a '44 or '45 start of WW2. Even worse was Hitler's decision to dely secret weapons development for 2 years into the war which meant that the jets, missiles, and other postwar successs stories took longer to field when Germany needed them the most. Germany certainly could have put more effort into the A-bomb research or built more conventional fighters w/o the V-Waffen (est. 20,000+ fighters) but WHY when they were winning the war from '39-42 and had an empire second only to the Roman Empire at its height? As for the children abducted, I only mentioned it along with the Lebensborn program as a historical fact. Btw, you ARE reported and your Nazi libel too is recorded. I feel that a fraud that cannot list his own name is of no consequence to anyone. You Sir or Madam, are nothing but a pathetic commentator. I operate under my own name. Btw, where are your parodies for comparison?
Rob Arndt - August 16, 2013 - Report this comment
Hey WH, WHY do YOU keep coming back to this thread to post if you've made a point that you want to tell the entire world about? Please spare yourself the embarassment of more posts. You can't even print your name and show that you've written any parodies yourself. And nothing I've stated is controversial at all. There was crude German genetic manipulation during WW2 and war crimes of abducting children. I never stated that I supported either program. My parody deals with NEW German genetic manipulation and the use of autonomous military robots to address civil and military needs in the near future. Facts. And you resort to name calling and empty threats? Sorry pal, but you really should follow the posting rules here for comments. I do not personally attack fellow authors- even the ones that bomb me. Grow up. Oh, and please mention REAL US history like the African slave trade that went on for hundreds of years and the millions killed, the US Ku Klux Klan, the slaughter of Native Americans, the internment of Japanese-Americans during WW2, the Civil Rights movement in the 1960s and George Wallace, and all the other US disgraces in its short history. In the end, the US is no better than any other great nation. It tortures w/o trial, murders people worldwide, and spies on its own citizens. Sound familiar... like Nazi Germany or East Germany with the Stasi? Even Mossad and the CIA got their torture techniques from the Germans!!! You are way in over your head WH. I could go on forever...
War Hater - August 16, 2013 - Report this comment
If the dialogue between Arndt and me seems one-sided and incoherent, it is because Arndt had three of my comments removed. Chiefly, they dealt with the evil Lebensborn project. My comments were obviously not to his liking, and so he assumed his de facto role of editor of this site.

I am confident that my deleted comments were on view long enough for you to have read them, and I trust they have had some influence.
helpful one - August 16, 2013 - Report this comment
Hey Rob,

Would you like to learn how to do a page break?

Your comments are like wallpaper.
Rob Arndt - August 16, 2013 - Report this comment
WH, please read the rules for posting comments. This is a moderated site and personal attacks, libel, and trolling are not allowed. THAT is why your remarks are gone. I note evasion also in answering my questions about America's sordid past and crimes/war crimes. Did you know that American troops ALSO raped innocent German women, girls, and even nuns in their sector in 1945? They also shot German soldiers that surrendered in Italy and Normandy and of course some Waffen SS after massacres of US troops (fair enough). The US soldiers were not saints, having their Brit alllies pissed that they took their women while stationed in England and also did not share the A-bomb even though it was the British that started the project with their Tube Alloys and 44 scientists given to the US in 1940. The Brits also gave their radar and jet technologies and all captured German secret weapons for evaluation like Enigma, German radar, the V-1 and V-2. The US just stole everything they could and financially raped the Brits for Lend-Lease. So Britain won, but won poor. US official history is garbage, So WH when you point a finger at Germany, we Germans can point right back. Stalin and Mao also killed more people than Hitler did during their reigns of terror. African massacres are so plentiful it's hard to keep track of them as well as Serbia's war crimes in the Balkans over Kosovo. I suggest you read more history and think before you make comments that blow-up in your face. NFR...
War Hater - August 16, 2013 - Report this comment
What do you mean by "we Germans can point right back"? Are you German or are you American? For whom would you fight should there be a war between the two countries?

Do you really think that I know nothing about American war crimes, past and present? That's as easy to know as watching "Saving Private Ryan." Do I have to respond to every irrelevant factoid in your verbal wallpaper? Are the monumental Nazi atrocities excusable in any degree because there was slavery, Native American abuse, etc., in the U.S.? Is the fact that aboriginal children were stolen from their families in any way an excuse for the depths of inhumanity reached by your people in the Lebensborn project, and which I tried to put on the record in some small measure before you had it expurgated?

In your interminable bloviating I have strained my eyes reading about the Kaiser's fleet, Sarajevo, and the Franco-Prussian War!! Do you really think I'm going to take an off-topic romp with you down memory lane?

Do you think I know nothing about geopolitics and the history of war? Would you like to compare campaign ribbons with me? You should now know the official reason for my sobriquet.

Since my mindset is diametrically opposed to yours, you may very well interpret all this as a "personal attack" and have it removed. That's arguing by censorship.
Observer - August 17, 2013 - Report this comment
At least we now know that Mr. WR H8TR is the Australian parodist Lifeliver. Begs the question of why not just post under his own handle? And has it occured to anyone that Nazi eugenics and medical research of the Second World War is very well known and documented? Lebensborn is no secret nor Hitler's racial policies. IIRC, Hitler himself upon marriage had to verify that he was racially pure! Whomever asked had to have guts!
Lifeliver - August 17, 2013 - Report this comment
@ Observer: I would like to state categorically that Warhater is not me and I'm curious to know how you've reached that conclusion.

I've said several times I never post under any other name but this onr and have the courage of my convictions. Also, my criticisms of Mr Arndt are of a different theme, especially his excessive production rate, his refusal to format any of his comments and introductions for readability's sake, and worst of all, vote-padding.

I do think his preoccupation with war and weapons is obsessive, but from time to time I've actually complimented him on the detail and scope of his research on such topics. I'm clearly not his only detractor, but it seems I'm the only one who's prepared to stand up and be counted in resistance to his (self-confessed) desire to dominate the site.

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