He's eating too much food
Is he in a bad mood?
He often hates women
I can't deal with him
He looks so weird, and his nose is somewhat long
This guy's name is Jug (ooh, Jughead Jones)

That S on his shirt
Still obsessed with most desserts
Don't know what that S
Was really stood for, I guess
I really know where Jughead is at
Since he's most likely wearing his crown-shaped hat, hey!

Whoo! Ah ha!

Oh, some love triangle's got out of hand
That love triangle's including Archie
Some love triangle's got out of hand
Will Archie stay with Veronica or Betty?

R-E-G-G-I-E M-A-N-T-L-E, his name is Reggie Mantle

Betty and Veronica
Betty and Veronica
Still better than Brandy and Monica
Betty and Veronica

My name's Archie Andrews
Hey! I am Archie Andrews
My name's Archie Andrews, that was me

Professor Ben Flutesnoot
Mr. Waldo Weatherbee
Svenson and Coach Kleats
Miss Geraldine Grundy

Somebody's on the loose, it's Moose, now let's turn up the juice
Blonde and strong, no brains but all brawn
Jock that rocks, a tough kid on the block
Loose! Don't noose! People just called him Moose!

Don't argue or debate
His name is Pop Tate
He's who we don't hate

Hiram Lodge, that's the name of Ronnie's dad
Hiram Lodge, that's the name of Ronnie's dad

Relax... aw, Archie, I thought you wanna go do it
Relax... aw, Archie, You're not acting dumb
Relax... aw, Archie, I thought you wanna stick to it
Relax... aw, Archie, you're acting dumb
You're not acting dumb
You're not acting dumb