Gotta try Marie Kondo
The Japanese petite sweetheart
Stops your wall-to-wall cluttering
She never makes it look too hard
Gotta try Marie Kondo
If your household’s set up wrong
Gotta learn to fold T-shirts
Throw your crap out on the lawn

It’s the new Western mania
Materialism’s out the door
Make a change in lifestyle
Open up those closet doors
This petite girl from Japan
Visiting your American town
Breaks book sales and Netflix records
Komono your house right now

Gotta try Marie Kondo
Lookie now, she’s gonna start
Watch her kneel while she’s thanking
The house, that is a strange part!
You gotta trust Marie Kondo
She’s not there to stir you wrong
Now just empty out that closet
That’s the part that takes real long

Found a hundred pairs of Argyle socks
A mint collection of manga
Knick-knacks and Tupperware settings
That old zoot suit worn by Grandpa
We found a dozen old army boots
And a Pokemon card set, too
A stuffed toy Muppet Grover, and a moldy macaroon!

Help me out, Marie Kondo
Show me now the House Tidy Art
Show a smile, keep giggling
Like a kawaii anime part
Save me now, Marie Kondo
Let’s get some sparking on
See my huge pile of dress shirts
A six foot high mountain!

Ain’t gonna have a messy house no more
I just gotta close the closet door
Ain’t gonna have a messy house no more
Buy trash bags from the hardware store

Hai, hai, hai!
Never gives nobody snark
You gotta try, try, try
Try to find out what makes joy spark

Now say bye, Marie Kondo
Japan's tidiest sweetheart
Always positive and comforting
Arigato in your thank you card
Made me cry, Marie Kondo
Threw my crap onto the lawn
Box it up, give to Goodwill
And the dust bunnies are gone

(Various choruses repeat through fade out…)