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Song Parodies -> "Essays Bloody Essays"

Original Song Title:

"Sunday Bloody Sunday"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Essays Bloody Essays"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Truly one of the most frustrating parts of English is the essay. Though I got a lot more leeway than this poor bastard did...
I just got home from school today
The teacher assigned another damn essay
How long, it must be five pages long
That long? Too lo-oo-o-oo-o-ong
I can't write
Five pages of stuff, that's shite

There is no set topic, should be neat
I can't choose just one, it ticks off me
Should I write about the Great Wall
Is that too simple? Why can't the teach' just make the call?

Essays, bloody essays
Essays, bloody essays
Essays, bloody essays
Essays, bloody essays
Oh, brainstorm!

Gotta write it out, that sucks
Handwriting blows, I can't use Word, how come?
Simpler to choose something in Art
Paint one dot on a canvas, automatic pass!

Essays, bloody essays
Essays, bloody essays

How long, til this thing is due, how long?
Wish for, a mo-oo-o-oo-o-onth
As if, right
Write it in two weeks, that's shite
Real shite
Essays, bloody essays (it's shite)
So shite
Essays, bloody essays (real shite)
It's bollocks!

I've wasted two days, guys
My mind went astray
Must choose something today
To write about, oy vey (essays, bloody essays)
I'll write about some guy (essays, bloody essays)
Essays, bloody essays
Essays, bloody essays
Essays, bloody essays
Essays, bloody essays
I hate them!

Not too long until it's due
I'm sure I'll turn in some kind of atrocity (essays, bloody essays)
No rough drafts, I wonder why (essays, bloody essays)
Wrote five pages about nothing, no lie (essays, bloody essays)
And my twaddle got B-plus (essays, bloody essays)
Creativity, guess I won
I hate writing essays
Still hate writing essays
"Art" does rhyme with "pass" in my accent, so there. "Twaddle" (rhymes with "waddle") is British slang for gibberish. The idea of five pages of pure nonsense getting a B+ was inspired by Animorphs (in which the essay was titled "The Use of Rhetoric to Obscure a Lack of Content" - genius!).

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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Syncronos - January 04, 2013 - Report this comment
(Artistry) "I can't write Five pages of stuff, that's s***e" As a college graduate who resorted to writing thesis papers on Kung Fu movies- and scored a B+ for it- I find this amazing!! 5s all around!
Syncronos, the confused - January 04, 2013 - Report this comment bleeped out s***e...weird
Matthias - January 12, 2013 - Report this comment
We've all been there and had to deal with the crapola that is writing essays. This is a great parody and school is always a winning topic! Another great one T-Cop!!!
Agrimorfee - January 14, 2013 - Report this comment
Havent written as essay in 20 years, feels good. I liked Syncronos topic idea, that would have made a great punchline to your parody.
Rex - January 23, 2013 - Report this comment
Although having written a few essays post graduation, I can say that it's a lot more enjoyable when 1) you don't have a deadline, and 2) you don't have to worry about your paper being graded. Terrific idea, fun parody.
Blaydeman - January 24, 2013 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I usually don't mind essays too much, I try to get them done as quickly and painlessly as possible. It also helps I'm a grade-A BSer and can spout of nothing and make it sound relevant to the paper. Funny spoof TCOP, nice work.

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