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Song Parodies -> "Dial Thing"

Original Song Title:

"Wild Thing"

Original Performer:

Tone Lōc

Parody Song Title:

"Dial Thing"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

You know those little twisty-turny locks you usually see in heist movies? This guy runs into a bit of trouble with one...
Can't do it

It's time to eat, I can't lie, I'm so hungry
I almost ate the forms I have to sign for my money
Boss won't let us leave for lunch, the jerk, so I start runnin'
Over to my locker where one'll find I've stashed my lunch for munchin'
Hasn't gone too cold, I hope, I'm no re-heat maestro
I always get the timin' wrong, way too hot for some damn rice rolls
Better put my code in before the bell rings
Wait, that's school, my B, my brain's kinda busy a-dealin' with the dial thing

Dial thing
Dial thing

Why can't I recall three damn digits in a line?
This one should work once I twist and jerk but the damn thing is still locked tight
Did this part go clockwise? Was it then a six or a nine?
Gettin' so damn peeved at this pure hell, can't follow that with "nice"
I keep turnin' this around, try one after another
Five, three and then four, man, I'd feel a dork if it turned out that the numbers
Weren't three in total, the pain would be way worse than a sting
Would be really cruel, I'd look like a tool for not crackin' this dumb dial thing

Dial thing
I can't open the dial thing
Dial thing
Please, little bastard, please

Seven hundred twists, at least that's what it feels like
Wrote the code down, it's true, but here's the thing: I kinda left it locked inside
No digital copy, mate, I can't find it sittin' there online
I know some shit would hack into it and then they'd take what is mine
Like the hammer that I keep in case I find
Some sort of problem that needs a whompin', there's one that's on my mind
All solutions that I've got involve the stuff I bring
In case shit happens but I cannot grab 'em because of the dial thing

Dial thing
I hate this stupid dial thing
Please, little bastard, please

Dial thing

And I already know how this thing is gonna end
I'll hear that click right when the clock says my break's over with
I'd make a scream of pain then go completely mad
Maybe attach the lock to anybody's lips that dare laugh
That's why I hope to get in soon, head off that dumb cliché
Why'd we get these locks? I'd prefer the ones with a key any day
Could say that I'd go and drop the lone key down a grate or sink
But this is an office, paperclips common, I can't do that with this dial thing

This sucks
Anyone think of bringin'
Chainsaws today? Just destroy it here
Hasta la vista, buddy
Dial thing

It was so weird listening to this song after almost 20 years of listening to Weird Al's version (I started listening to Weird Al around Poodle Hat), especially noticing parts that he replicated the phrasing of but in a different verse. Of course, there's also listening to a song by Tone Lōc that isn't about him wanting to eat me.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 71

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   5
 5
 5
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   66
 66
 66
 

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