Tiger woods should win, he has all the tolls
like Mister T once said "I pity the fools"
he wants their clubs inspected, follow the rules,
he's playing the right open

they whack and slash, it's such a hard course,
with bunkers, and the rough is made out of Gorse
the tiger keeps his putter wrapped up tight in his shorts,
reveals it, when wide open

playing the british open,
there aint no skies of blue
playing the right open,
them guys aint got a clue

ernie els can't win, he aint got the heart,
and Justin leonard is lost I figure right from the start
colin Montgomerie just had a brain fart,
the tiger should cruise hopin,

the players whine that the hotels are stalls,
and drunken people always yell the catcalls,
for luck, old Ellen must kiss tiger's balls,
to play in the open

playing the british open,
there aint no skies of blue
playing the right open,
them guys aint got a clue

(3rd optional verse.. lol the parody album mix)

man after man they like up in the bunker
each time they miss, oh man that was a skunker
tiger lined his girl up, and then he sunk her
her t shirt was wide open

he always seems too trite and too smug,
he's high on life, and that blonde is his drug
he's got his sights set on just kissing that jug,
his future is wide open

playing the british open,
there aint no skies of blue
playing the right open,
them guys aint got a clue
playing the british open,
there aint no skies of blue
playing the right open,
them guys aint got a clue