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Song Parodies -> "Handle Meat With Care"

Original Song Title:

"Handle With Care"

Original Performer:

The Traveling Wilburys

Parody Song Title:

"Handle Meat With Care"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

I strongly recommmend watching the video of the OS at, if for no other reason than to witness Roy Orbison's lines.

For those not familiar with The Traveling Wilburys, it was a supergroup composed of Bob Dylan, George Harrison, Jeff Lynne (of ELO), Roy Orbison and Tom Petty, with Jim Keltner on drums. They recorded two albums (1988 and 1990). Music trivia fans will enjoy reading the Wikipedia articles written about this group and it's members, who poked a lot of fun at themselves with this project. The OS is from the first album, which won a Grammy for Best Rock Performance by a Duo or Group in 1989...
Lean meat's tough and spatter abounds
Mean scent's rough and knives seem not sound
Sure detest wings with fried eiderdown
Handle meat with care

Expiration's saleable
'Frigeration's powerful
But grading's sure deplorable
Handle meat with care

I'm so tired of Beefaroni
I'd kill for a tub of ribs
Don't you show me racks too lean or spare

Flesh is shoddy, rot ungodly, juice seems strong
Butchered oldly, flecked with grime, and cleaned wrong

My hen's not hot, and my veal's cool
Guide seems odd and minuscule
The gray hare renders a slight drool
Handle meat with care

[Short Guitar Solo]

Lean chuck from mare-horse, tenderized
Kept from breeding, victimized
Odor explodes, commercials lied
Handle meat with care

Time's expired on green baloney
I will need some drugs to live
Loaf's too bony, packed with greasy hair

Chef is stodgy, stock is motley, the team's bombed
Cooker's sloppy, wrecks the swine, and reams swan

My beef's a fright and bacon's stressed
But I'll freeze it up, my shelf's a mess
Oh, the bleak smell does oppress
Handle meat with care

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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Meriadoc - November 15, 2012 - Report this comment
This is hilarious and deserves more comments. Especially liked the green baloney line. Some green bread or cheese should take care of any baloney ingested bacteria.
Lifeliver - November 17, 2012 - Report this comment
Nice choice of OS and clever matching idea. As I recall, Roy had already died when this was released. V creative subs - you sound like a bona-fide meat inspector. Couldn't follow 'reams swan'. ??
Leough - November 17, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks Meriadoc, Lifeliver and mystery guest.

Lifeliver, the sloppy cooker was using a reaming tool--that is normally used to squeeze the juice out of fruit--to squeeze the juice out of the swan, thereby ruining its tastiness.

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