Jung's teacher
Sigmund Freud
Wrote of girls' fantasies

[FREUD: ]

"She vahnts him,
so badly,
a father-figure, see?

"Inside her,
zere's longing,
zis girl's unconscious plea --

"Looks down and,
she's so full now,
of her penis envy"


[FREUD: ]

Can't stand,
Can't stand her,
Can't stand her hose envy
Can't stand,
Can't stand her,
Can't stand her hose envy


Freud's colleagues
So jealous
Those weirdos act like kids

Science can
Get so sleazy
When egos clash with ids

Repression
Projection
So bad it makes them hate

Freud says "Stop,
zees hating,
vhy don't you masturbate?"


[FREUD: ]

Go hand,
Go handle,
Go handle yourself please
Go hand,
Go handle,
Go handle yourself please


Carl Jung and
Sigmund Freud
Did not see eye to eye

Those two could
Not a-void
Their dogmatic divide

Jung's fed up
With Sigmund's
Notion that sex is all

And with Freud's
Li-ter-al
Oed-i-pus folderol


[FREUD: ]

I'd like
I'd like a
I'd like a cigar, please

[JUNG: ]

And what
And what's that
And what's that cigar mean?

[FREUD: ]

It means
Zat I'm a
Closet tobacco queen

[JUNG: ]

(That man,)
(That man's so,)
(That man's so sex-crazy!)
(I'm through)
(With Sigmund's)
(Dickhead philosophy!)