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Song Parodies -> "King of Games"

Original Song Title:

"King of Pain"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Police

Parody Song Title:

"King of Games"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Nothing to do with Yu-Gi-Oh (not that I'm averse to that as a parody topic, mind you), this is the tale of a man who wins all the things...whether he likes it or not...
If you think that you're gonna have fun today
Sorry, you should quit before I play
Poker? Blackjack? Go Fish? Don't matter what
Got this bad knack for coming out on top

The last time that I lost? That was a bygone age
I just keep running circles no matter what's played
See, there's no point in hoping that you'll win this day
Cause it's my destiny to be the king of games

I will reach twenty-one in two cards today (no, it's not quite fair)
Is it luck or skill? It's kinda vague (no, it's not quite fair)
There'll be checkmate called in, say, ten moves tops (no, it's not quite fair)
My checkers pieces never stop their hop (no, it's not quite fair)

Don't want to be a bore, this isn't fun, okay?
With one dude running circles ev'ry time he plays
I wish I could be losing but that's not today
Cause it's my destiny to be the king of games

You don't know how I've tried to take such a fall (no, it's not quite fair)
I've bet on shitty hands and wasted all my pawns (no, it's not quite fair)
Tried to play real green to give y'all an edge (no, it's not quite fair)
But that's harder a task than I would've bet (no, it's not quite fair)

Got a mountain of gold medals from all my days
Running unending circles round strangers and mates
At first, I was there gloating, but now I'm just drained
Cause it's my destiny to be the king of games

Hate to win ev'ry throw of these darts right now
Hate to be seen looking like a show-off each bout
Hate to make the scene seem like I barely sweat
Hate to revel in all the praise I tend to get

King of games

You'd think that my choice should be "don't do that" (no, it's not quite fair)
Sit out ev'ry one, give the noobs a crack (no, it's not quite fair)
But when I do, my luck makes someone's back break
And then I get dragged in anyway

Don't want to fill their spot, but I'm forced to, it's lame
Once again running circles in whatever's played
It's what I get for messing with that cursed paw, mate
Now it's my destiny to be the king of games

King of games
King of games
King of games
I'll always be king of games
I'll always be king of games
I'll always be king of games
I'll always be king of games
I'll always be king of games
I'll always be king of games
I'll always be king of games

Man, actually reading the lyrics to the original song for the first time, they come off as stereotypical emo crap. "There's a black spot on the sun, black like my soul". I get that it was inspired by Sting's separation from his first wife (thank you, Wikipedia) but divorced (heh) of all context just makes it sound like Simple Plan just, you know, with talent. Am I rambling? I'm totally rambling.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Matthias - June 29, 2018 - Report this comment
Pretty fun take on the whole guy who can’t lose concept. I like the fact that he goes from gloating about his winnings to getting upset every time he wins again
Rex - June 29, 2018 - Report this comment
Ha! I've come up against this guy far to often. Interesting philosophical take that even winning gets old if that's all that you experience. Although I'd like to see this guy bowl and roll the ball straight at the gutter only to have it curve and make a strike. Ok I'm rambling.
Peter Andersson - June 29, 2018 - Report this comment
Those 555 unanswered calls on your phone? That's the Germany Soccer National Team offering you citizenship straight up!
Peregrin - June 29, 2018 - Report this comment
Really good concept Conq, and handled very well. I have a friend like this, drives me nuts. I thought your juxtaposition of Go Fish alongside the two more 'serious' games was excellent, comedically. Oh, and Peter Andersson? OUCH :) Heh heh.
Agrimorfee - June 30, 2018 - Report this comment
For execution of the challenged concept, readability, pace and fun (with a interesting twist) this was a great parody TCOP.
Meriadoc - July 01, 2018 - Report this comment
"never stop their hop" cracked me up! :D

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