Now I'm sitting on my couch right in front of the tube
When that old purple Satan
Comes up on PBS just to give me some stress
And act in ways so blatant.
Do I wonder why TV is crazy
When it shows this Barney who is on crack?

Well, I was sick and tired, so I took up my gun
And loaded the bullets.
I then loaded my friends in my truck at both ends
To end all this bullsh**.
We must kill those who say he's not a criminal;
We must put this satanist up in jail.

Refrain.
Was it any wonder we'd seen too much Barney and Friends?
It ticked us all off, oh, ad nauseum.
We'd seen too much Barney and Friends;
We could not believe he still is on the air.
We'd seen too much Barney and Friends
And it ticked us all off, ticked us all off that day.
Too much Barney and Friends. (3x)

(Instrumental solo; shots ringing out at the school where Barney and Friends takes place.)

Too much Barney and Friends. (3x)

Just when the vict'ry seemed in reach I saw police there
On the hill o'er the building.
I at least had my friends but we knew 'twas the end
Of the end of our very gilding.
Is it any wonder I hate this PBS?
Is it any wonder it is devoid?
(Refrain)

Tag.
Too much Barney and Friends. (6x)
Too much Barney and Friends,
Too much Barney and...