It used to seem the speed
Of my PC wasn't fast.
And it seemed to take a whole week
Just to do the simplest tasks.

So to the store I ran,
Bought the smartest stuff around.
Paid the fee, subscribed to broadband,
Packets zoomed like startled hounds.

It was faster than dial-up times ten.
All the chores that choked my mind
Were pleasant once again.
It was faster than dial-up times ten.
All the apps that stopped and hung
Ran fine and made me grin.

With my rig enhanced, my glum mood eased.
Thought the surge was all I'd need.
And oh, I worked at frightful speed,
Faster than dial-up times ten.

Nerds refused to let things rest.
They changed life to strife for me.
Ads and links and cloud-based software,
How they googled up my glee.

Performance has declined.
Now I rant while the chores get done.
Oh, they've stalled the hard drive's hummin'.
How it's slowed up, killing fun.

Now it's actin' like dial-up again.
All the chores take so much time,
Provokin' much chagrin.
Now it's actin' like dial-up again.
All the spies that watch my stuff
Conspire to make life grim.

Now my rig enhanced brings misery.
I have an urgent need for speed.
And oh, I have a mind to scream,
Lackin' the high price to spend.

High price,
High price,
Such a high price to spend.


I've been smacked by the high price to spend.
All the stores I chose one time
Were choked by market swings.
And I crash at the fine sites that vend.
Too much time, I lack the punch
To buy the latest things.

For a link enhanced with greater speed,
The vendors charge so greedily.
And so, I scream at my PC,
Actin' like dial-up again.

Dial-up,
Actin' like dial-up.

Oh, I've been hacked!