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Song Parodies -> "Dainty Thugs"
Original Song Title:
"Tainted Love"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Soft Cell
Parody Song Title:
"Dainty Thugs"
Parody Written by:
McKludge
The Lyrics
You shouldn't call him Fat Tony anymore, boss. It hurts his feelings when you make fun of his weight problem.
DKTOS? Listen here
DKTOS? Listen here
Sometimes I think I need some
Better goons, I need a
New platoon
Of some rowdy dudes to enforce the loans I make
The ones I got
Now ain’t worth a squat
They all act serene
Since their grannies told them don’t be so mean
Once they’d smash your face
Now, a warm embrace
These dainty thugs aren’t working
My customers just keep on shirking
Missing payments - this won’t do at all
Dainty thugs
Dainty thugs
Now I need some new guys
To get tough, cause these guys?
Balls of fluff
Gath’ring ‘round to watch Oprah, sipping tea
No longer fight
Now they all smile and act polite
And my clients aren’t afraid
When their twenty large vig* stays unpaid
Once they’d cap your ass
Now they love to dance!
These dainty thugs are useless
They might as well just wear a new dress
Scented candles, curtains in the hall
Dainty thugs
Dainty thugs
Once busted knees
Now they all curtsy and say, “Please?”
When it’s time to collect my dough
They are hanging out at Broadway shows!
Dainty thugs
Dainty thugs
Just like ladies, dainty thugs
Just like ladies, dainty thugs
Dainty thugs
Dainty thugs
Dainty thugs
…
Better goons, I need a
New platoon
Of some rowdy dudes to enforce the loans I make
The ones I got
Now ain’t worth a squat
They all act serene
Since their grannies told them don’t be so mean
Once they’d smash your face
Now, a warm embrace
These dainty thugs aren’t working
My customers just keep on shirking
Missing payments - this won’t do at all
Dainty thugs
Dainty thugs
Now I need some new guys
To get tough, cause these guys?
Balls of fluff
Gath’ring ‘round to watch Oprah, sipping tea
No longer fight
Now they all smile and act polite
And my clients aren’t afraid
When their twenty large vig* stays unpaid
Once they’d cap your ass
Now they love to dance!
These dainty thugs are useless
They might as well just wear a new dress
Scented candles, curtains in the hall
Dainty thugs
Dainty thugs
Once busted knees
Now they all curtsy and say, “Please?”
When it’s time to collect my dough
They are hanging out at Broadway shows!
Dainty thugs
Dainty thugs
Just like ladies, dainty thugs
Just like ladies, dainty thugs
Dainty thugs
Dainty thugs
Dainty thugs
…
*vig – interest payment on a loan
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
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| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 25 | 25 | 25 |
User Comments
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So get some new blood in there. "Once they’d cap your ass/Now they love to dance!" stood out for me.
I'll pay the three 5s I owe you. Just don't send those dainty thugs after me.
Hilarious--great concept well executed!
lol...great title switch and concept...and these lyrics are a great match for the original mincing vocals
Oh, Tony SnowPRANO, where'd you go ? Your little Bunny misses you, Big Guy!
This one killed me. And by killed I mean the parody. Well done.
Glen - I know that ass/dance is a stretch for a rhyme, but I couldn't pass it up
Rick - Worst that would happen is they give you a makeover.
alvin - I was also thinking of Jaded Thugs, but Dainty woked better.
L'ilGumby - I can be seen on A&E now, although half the dialogue is cut.
Stooge - Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk, Wise Guy!
Rick - Worst that would happen is they give you a makeover.
alvin - I was also thinking of Jaded Thugs, but Dainty woked better.
L'ilGumby - I can be seen on A&E now, although half the dialogue is cut.
Stooge - Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk, Wise Guy!
It's a stretch as a rhyme, but thematically, it's an awesome couplet. I think a funny couplet that is a stretch as a rhyme is worth more than a lame couplet that rhymes cleanly. If I may rant for a minute more, I think it's very effective in songs to have many clean rhymes and then one or two stretch rhymes thrown in. Done right, you can convince your reader that you did it on purpose. I felt like you did it on purpose here, and I'm a supporter. Wow, I need to get some sleep.
very funny McK - I guess it was only a matter of time before thugs discovered the joys of Barbra Streisand - 555
Thanks Stu, but I don't know if I'd call Streisand "dainty"
nor would I, but men who appreciate her are
(SOTM) Glen S. could have just simply said, "It's a b**** to rhyme the word 'love'." :) I had pictures of Big Pussy and Paulie Walnuts traipsing through a daisy field with this one. Good job.
Brilliant work here. I loved it!!! An amazing idea, that was perfectly executed.
(SOTM) This parody puts a smile on my face. A nice, deep, red, bloody smile. I have experience with thugs, and when one gets out of line, I have no problem killing them and replacing them.
This is a good parody, but I';ll pay you the 5's I owe you if you will go out and kill the Batman. (Sorry, I was reminded of the mob scenes with the Joker.) 555
(SOTM) Hahaha. Plenty of laughs throughout and great rhyme matching. Hilarious.
I've heard of the Gambino family, is this like the Gay/Bi-Now family?
(SOTM) I thought I'd come back and investigate this parody. No, I'm not wired. There are just TMGLTM: Oprah, sipping tea, new dress, cap your ass, Broadway shows. Whadda say now, Tony Soprano?
This is great.
Pink make me look chubby!
(SOTM) There is a way to make the dainty thugs do their job: get them to really overdo the niceness. Giant brutes acting effeminate would creep most people right the fudge out. It would shock me, definitely. 555 for you!
(SOTM) ha, yes, this one has the lot McKludge - great title sub, an idea screaming with possibilities (wish I'd thought of it) and some lovely droll gags throughout - excellent - 555
(SOTM) "Once they'd cap your ass now they love to dance" was one of many great lines. Great job on my favorite one hit wonder of the 80s!
(SOTM) Very well painted and thought out, TOS is not one I've seen too often either in my SOTM history. . .very cool.
Thanks to Aggy, Matty, Chris, Jake, Peter, Claude, Max, bob, Stu, Jeff, and BAD for voting this as SOTM.
I've got a thing for mob parodies but y'all probably already know that. Of all the mob stuff I've written I have bever considered the "dainty" angle. Great idea and great execution! I'm offering three 5's - pretty please don't refuse. .
I'm always a fan of a great idea that's well executed. The image of whimpy tough guys is just too funny.
My first trip to this parody; well done, McKludge. I really like the line "Gath’ring ‘round to watch Oprah, sipping tea". lol
Belated thanks Guy, IB, and Red Ant.
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