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Song Parodies -> "Christmastime Warfare"

Original Song Title:

"Chemical Warfare"

Original Performer:

Slayer

Parody Song Title:

"Christmastime Warfare"

Parody Written by:

Dylan Baranski

The Lyrics

For my next round of "Heavy Metal Christmas", I'm parodying the only member of the Big Four thrash metal bands I haven't parodied yet. Basically, this song is not only a parody on those who declare "War on Christmas", but also on people who actually think there's a "War on Christmas". Enjoy the parody! DKTOS? (NSFW)
Worldly minds are terrified,
Jesus lives again,
Santa Claus rides high above
On a sleigh pulled by his reindeer,
Multi-bans on Christmastime,
Extremists protest,
Annihilation must be swift,
Destroy the jolly fat man!

Censure the ones who would censor out Christ,
They would commit homicide!
Santa won’t become Satan’s sacrifice,
Reindeer are essence of life!
Anyone who disagrees must be iced,
Christmas won’t be left to die!
Presents won’t come to the snowflakes who lie!
Christmastime warfare!

Peace and joy must come to all,
Christmastime is here,
Liberals in their limousines
Diminish Nick’s value,
Banish from the dying world
All trace of Jesus Christ,
“Merry Christmas”, it gives way
To “Happy Holidays!”

Censure the ones who would censor out Christ,
They would commit homicide!
Santa won’t become Satan’s sacrifice,
Reindeer are essence of life!
Anyone who disagrees must be iced,
Christmas won’t be left to die!
Presents won’t come to the snowflakes who LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Christmastime warfare!

[pre-solo]

Rock it up!

[Hanneman solo]

Liquidate,
The holiday must include everyone!
Terminate,
Human bickering brings days of doom!
Christmas,
The holiday excludes non-Christian folks!
Celebrate,
Give us peace or you’ll end up in Hell!

[King solo]

Dummified legions fighting for what?
All victims of their hate!
Bloodified corpses with throats all cut,
Pleading, but it was too late!
Dyed in wool haters, won’t understand,
Now they will get coal in Hell!
See the Earth burning, the North Pole melted,
Santa now victim of flames!

Censure the ones who would censor out Christ,
They would commit homicide!
Santa won’t become Satan’s sacrifice,
Reindeer are essence of life!
Anyone who disagrees must be iced,
Christmas won’t be left to die!
Presents won’t come to the snowflakes who lie!
Christmastime warfare!

Warfare!
Copyright 2020 by Dylan Baranski GmbH S.p.A. Inc. Misuse is punishable by being destroyed without destruction.

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Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 2

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