Just wanted caffiene and now I've been put in a mood
And not a good one, 'fraid it's true
Somebody's playin' a song and it's lame and it's bad
I wish it was Wonderwall, man
No, it's pretty clear this jackass means to share
A ditty that he wrote himself
And that'd be okay if his voice went near "great"
And not "drunk sewer rat from hell"
I wanted caffiene, not some kind of self-impressed douche
But now he's gone onto verse two
Someone force-feed him a clue, oh-oh-oh-oh
I'm pissed

No acoustic play, need to go away
Don't think you're cool 'cause you really put the "r" in "pick" (please don't play)
No acoustic play, need to go away
Your use of those four chords won't get praise of any sort (no, no, no)

Loves to pretend he's no hack in a dumb hat but we see
His act is as thin as his tweed
"Your perfect lover"? When will he discover
That nobody buys that part?
But guys who live through douchin' tend to be this stupid
Self-reflection is too hard
The reason we're laughin' is 'cause you're incompetent, dude
It's not from your charm, that shit's crude
Like oil with a similar ooze
Feel sick

No acoustic play, need to go away
The way you noodle since you forgot your own damn bridge (really lame)
No acoustic play, need to go away
You're ruinin' a form that's been dyin' on the floor (go, go, go)

Why can't we kick his dumb ass out? He's actin' the creep
He hasn't paid for a coffee
He hasn't noticed our Rule Three
It says:

"No acoustic play, this is not a stage
We don't want you to spill pick-up lines all 'round like swill"
No acoustic play (no acoustic play), got that? Go away
Not "croonin' chicks" here, you're an obstinate, awful dork
No acoustic play (no acoustic play), need to go away
Don't want your tunes, you dick, maybe this hot brew will stick