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Song Parodies -> "I Won't Drive 95"
Original Song Title:
"I Can't Drive 55"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Sammy Hagar
Parody Song Title:
"I Won't Drive 95"
Parody Written by:
Dylan Baranski
The Lyrics
I'm a real stickler for road safety. I buckle up, forget about my phone and don't drive under the influence. Granted, I do drive a few miles over the posted speed limit, but really, there's a difference between what's posted and what's practical. Unfortunately, it seems as though a fair number of motorists like to drive far beyond what's practical, so in the interest of promoting driver safety, I did this parody. Note that the title has a double meaning: not only is it referring to going 95 miles per hour, but it also refers to Interstate 95, which has its own perils. Enjoy the parody!
One foot on the gas, and one up their ass, hey!
Well, those flippin’ loonies want to pass, oh!
So they try some dumb, illegal moves,
Hope the State Police come and bust their groove right now!
They wanna drive their cars at 125,
At that speed, they might not be alive,
I can’t take this highway jive,
I won’t drive…95!
Oh no!
Uh!
So I start my day doin’ twenty chores,
And this guy swerves out, foot to floor.
I think this dang dumbass must be smokin’ joints,
And he nearly pushed me to breaking point!
I say “Why?”
Oh why?
Drive their cars at 125,
At that speed, they might not be alive,
I can’t take this highway jive,
I won’t drive…95!
Oh no!
I won’t drive 95! [x4]
Uh!
[guitar solo]
When ya drive that fast, ya know it’s hard to steer.
And the State Police find that really queer.[1]
So don’t become a victim on the highway,
Huh, it takes you 40 minutes to get to The Bay![2]
They wanna drive their cars at 125,
At that speed, they might not be alive,
I can’t take this highway jive,
I won’t drive…95!
No no no, I won’t drive 95!
(I won’t drive 95!)
I won’t drive!
(I won’t drive 95!)
(I won’t drive 95!)
[fade out]
Well, those flippin’ loonies want to pass, oh!
So they try some dumb, illegal moves,
Hope the State Police come and bust their groove right now!
They wanna drive their cars at 125,
At that speed, they might not be alive,
I can’t take this highway jive,
I won’t drive…95!
Oh no!
Uh!
So I start my day doin’ twenty chores,
And this guy swerves out, foot to floor.
I think this dang dumbass must be smokin’ joints,
And he nearly pushed me to breaking point!
I say “Why?”
Oh why?
Drive their cars at 125,
At that speed, they might not be alive,
I can’t take this highway jive,
I won’t drive…95!
Oh no!
I won’t drive 95! [x4]
Uh!
[guitar solo]
When ya drive that fast, ya know it’s hard to steer.
And the State Police find that really queer.[1]
So don’t become a victim on the highway,
Huh, it takes you 40 minutes to get to The Bay![2]
They wanna drive their cars at 125,
At that speed, they might not be alive,
I can’t take this highway jive,
I won’t drive…95!
No no no, I won’t drive 95!
(I won’t drive 95!)
I won’t drive!
(I won’t drive 95!)
(I won’t drive 95!)
[fade out]
NOTES:
[1]-Here, the word is meant in the old sense of "strange".
[2]-Refers to the Narragansett Bay and how driving across Rhode Island's really not all that time-consuming, barring traffic jams.
Copyright 2020 by Dylan Baranski GmbH S.p.A. Inc. Misuse is punishable by getting your ass thrown in the city joint.
[1]-Here, the word is meant in the old sense of "strange".
[2]-Refers to the Narragansett Bay and how driving across Rhode Island's really not all that time-consuming, barring traffic jams.
Copyright 2020 by Dylan Baranski GmbH S.p.A. Inc. Misuse is punishable by getting your ass thrown in the city joint.
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User Comments
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I hear you... I-95 is a serious pain!
I dont drive freeways at all.anymore. Cant process visuall info and react fast enough. Last time I was on, I had to make a lane change even though I wasnt.100 percent sure thst lane was.clear. Got off at the next exit.
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