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Song Parodies -> "Abusive To Staff"
Original Song Title:
"Addicted To Love"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Robert Palmer
Parody Song Title:
"Abusive To Staff"
Parody Written by:
Phil Alexander
The Lyrics
I was working in a prison recently, and the staff were discussing whether a visitor should be allowed back after being repeatedly abusive and threatening towards the visits staff. So I wrote something they could sing back to said visitor when they decline her visit...
You're mouthing off - four-letter words
Stupi - dest ever heard
You're impolite - you're rude as sin
So ain't no way - you're coming in
You're giving us - the third degree
In ever worse - profanity
And I'm afraid - we'll have no truck
With using words - like "chum" and "puck"
Oh - you think you're forceful, but you're merely daft, oh yeah
You don't make me angry, no you just make me laugh
You know you're gonna be ejected, you're abusive to staff
You threaten vi - olence to me
Sure, you could try - you feel lucky?
One handbag swing - one little slap
And I don't have to take that crap - so shut your trap
That's all I'll say
You got no choice: just go away
And now you say you want to see
The Governor? Well he'll agree
Oh, your sheer arrogance is right off the graph, oh yeah
"Rude and plain stupid" should be your epitaph
You know you're gonna be red-listed: you're abusive to staff
Know we've detected you're abusive to staff
Time you were ejected, you're abusive to staff
Don't look so dejected, you're abusive to staff
Apologies rejected, you're abusive to staff
Stupi - dest ever heard
You're impolite - you're rude as sin
So ain't no way - you're coming in
You're giving us - the third degree
In ever worse - profanity
And I'm afraid - we'll have no truck
With using words - like "chum" and "puck"
Oh - you think you're forceful, but you're merely daft, oh yeah
You don't make me angry, no you just make me laugh
You know you're gonna be ejected, you're abusive to staff
You threaten vi - olence to me
Sure, you could try - you feel lucky?
One handbag swing - one little slap
And I don't have to take that crap - so shut your trap
That's all I'll say
You got no choice: just go away
And now you say you want to see
The Governor? Well he'll agree
Oh, your sheer arrogance is right off the graph, oh yeah
"Rude and plain stupid" should be your epitaph
You know you're gonna be red-listed: you're abusive to staff
Know we've detected you're abusive to staff
Time you were ejected, you're abusive to staff
Don't look so dejected, you're abusive to staff
Apologies rejected, you're abusive to staff
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 7 | 7 | 7 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
5s, very good, gets the message across well.
From the title, I thought this was going to be about self-gratification. Five fingers.
I'll have to admit that I read the title wrong on the front page, I thought it said "Abusive to Spaff" and thought to myself "WHAT could that POSSIBLY be" and made this my first checkout of the day! :-)
What JB sa-----er, never mind. 5s ;-)
top notch. The staff will love you for this one. 555
yes, i thought it was gonna be something else as well.......i'm so ashamed...nice job
Why you f***ing b*stard, who told you to write a good f***ing song, you son of a b*tch!!! Oh, and F***s!!! That's right Fives!!!
I must be losing it in my old age: the double entendre on the title of this did not even cross my mind until I read these comments :-)
Peter - Abusive to Spaff? I guess it depends if he keeps the quality up...
OK, then: who's going to have written the one that comes up tomorrow, same title, different theme?
Peter - Abusive to Spaff? I guess it depends if he keeps the quality up...
OK, then: who's going to have written the one that comes up tomorrow, same title, different theme?
I thought this song was going to be about a mean boss. I was surprised and delighted with this "tribute" to ANY rude abusive "customer".
Very creative and clever, 555's
Working doing what? Laundry? Making license plates? They let you guys have 'Net access? Explains a lot...
Phil, DKTOS, but looks as good as usual, and sentiment will be just as applicable if you get paroled.
Phil, DKTOS, but looks as good as usual, and sentiment will be just as applicable if you get paroled.
You don't know "Addicted to Love"? You're a wee youngster of a turtle, then? ;-)
As turtles go, yes... they live to 150 - 200. Born somewhat after Beethoven, grew up with the Golden Oldies, never grew out of them. Research - 'scuse me, "plagiarism" - says this OS is from the 80s; DK anything after 70s. Has occurred to me this site should have a Golden Oldie Fogey subsection for us Boomer Turtles. Ya think CG will go for it?
I was there when you were inspired for this song. V. Good 5*'s all round. I'll show this to Margaret tomorrow..
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