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Song Parodies -> "We Are the Muslims"

Original Song Title:

"We Are the Champions"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"We Are the Muslims"

Parody Written by:

Susanna Viljanen

The Lyrics

We have Quran,
we have the Law -
We have the Prophet,
we have Holy War
Make no mistake -
we'll overcome
No matter what you infidels do -
we'll conquer you!

We are the Muslims, you see -
and we'll keep on fighting till you bleed!
We are the Muslims, you are infidels
We'll kill blasphemers
'Cause we are the champions of the Faith!

(And we mean to go on and on and on and on...)

We explode the bombs
we'll shoot and we kill
We'll sell your broads and kids to slavery by Sharia -
now that's a thrill!
We'll set up new Bronze Age -
we'll stone and cut limbs -
Our mission is to subjugate
the whole human race -
And we ain't gonna lose!

We are the Muslims, you'll know -
We'll rape and burn you, what a show!
We are the Muslims, you are infidels
We'll kill blasphemers
'Cause we are the champions of the Faith!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 2.9
How Funny: 2.8
Overall Rating: 2.8

Total Votes: 22

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   10
 2   1
 3   2
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

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Patrick - February 02, 2015 - Report this comment
My challenge answered! Very well done. The correct translation of "Islam" is not "peace", but rather, "submission".
Curious - February 02, 2015 - Report this comment
You make a blanket condemnation of Muslims. The guy who sells me the papers at the corner news stand is Muslim. He seems pleasant and peaceful. We get along well. But do you think that because I'm an infidel he will behead me when I least expect it? If so, thanks for the heads-up. I will try to find a Christian news stand, but I doubt any exist.
Dr Giorgio Coniglio, dec. - February 02, 2015 - Report this comment
Being lefthanded, a Canadian, member of an ethnic minority, and now recently deceased, I prefer a little more tolerance of diversity. I do deplore jihadists and other supporters of violence. Shouldn't you feel that way too? Otherwise, "Curious" may never find a safe newstand.
Anon E. Nimus - February 03, 2015 - Report this comment
Try finding an Atheist newstand. Atheists won't bother saving your soul nor slitting your throat.
Susanna Viljanen - February 03, 2015 - Report this comment
Let's say that as an European I am sick and tired on what the Muslims have done to my continent and to my country. I know our history, and I also know Islam has waged its Holy War for 1400 years against Christianity and the Western civilization. Islam is not only a religion, but also a totalitarian ideology not unlike Nazism.

You might say there were nice and moderate Nazis in Germany and that not every National Socialist approved the racial laws nor the extermination of the Untermensche, but there still was the World War Two and the Holocaust
American - February 03, 2015 - Report this comment
Here, the Muslim woman wears the hijab behind the counter of CVS pharmacy. She does not dispense poison pills. We, unlike France for example, do not forbid Muslim dress. La haine, bred in banueils, and fostered by European dreams of Christian purity, does not exist here. For all our problems with minorities, we do not build official ghettos for our immigrants. Thus, alienation is defused by assimilation.
Callmelennie - February 03, 2015 - Report this comment
American .. Europeans don't "build" ghettos for Muslims. Muslims choose to congregate in sectors of European cities which are turned into Islamic enclaves where Muslims customs and Muslim law preside. There are hundreds of areas in France that are now "no go" zones where French police don't intrude and no women in Western attire would dare enter. It is the Muslims who are refusing to assimilate with what they deem to be a decadent Western culture. Susanna has seen it all firsthand .... What is happening in the US is not relevant to Susanna's experience, as Muslims are still a tiny minority here. As their numbers grow, they become increasingly more assertive of their true Islamic culture
Dr Giorgio Coniglio dec. - February 03, 2015 - Report this comment
In my neighborhood in Canada there are apparently a lot of immigrants from Islamic countries. Most of them are likely related to the nice man who sells 'Curious' his newspapers. My grandfather first came to NY from Europe about 1905. BTW, we deceased have a strict scoring code - no rating assigned if we feel answer to, "How Funny?" is "NR". Security code UAR.
Onlooker - February 03, 2015 - Report this comment
How did Susanna turn into a Callmelennie puppet filled with blind hatred against Muslims? Best be careful that the V in her last name doesn't represent villain. There are already too many American and European Islamophobes in world. Learn tolerance and respect for other cultures and religions already. Sheesh!
Susanna Viljanen - February 03, 2015 - Report this comment
Onlooker, there are a lot Naziphobes in the world as well. Can you really blame them?

The problem is not the burqha. The problem is the holy war. Burqha is the uniform in that holy war. It denotes on which side you are.

On what comes to the French burqha ban, the Jewish kippot and Christian insignia are banned just as well. As would be Thor's Hammers. It is the non-religion principle (laicité) of the French law.
Callmelennie - February 03, 2015 - Report this comment
Yeah, Susanna, how did you become my sock puppet? And don't try to use personal experience or statistics that show that the majority of rapes of Caucasian girls in Scandinavian counties are done by Muslims because that would only reveal your .. "blind hatred" .... And don't EVEN bring up the fact tat these rapes are now occurring at rates never before seen in your counties because that would demonstrate you're an "Islmaophobe" who is .. wait for it .. "filled with hate." Can you just learn to respect and tolerate their need to do this, already -- Huh, Susanna. Or will they have to call you even more names?
Dr Giorgio Coniglio, dec - February 03, 2015 - Report this comment
Susanna; Apart from CML's statistics, is Finland part of Scandinavia? And do social trends there, and crime reporting always follow those in the other Nordic countries?
Another Onlooker - February 03, 2015 - Report this comment
@ Onlooker. They're the ones moving to European countries. Perhaps they should "learn tolerance and respect for other cultures and religions" before they arrive here. I would be expected to respect their way of doing things in their countries and I expect them to respect our way of doing things in our countries. For those that can't, there are plenty of other Islamic countries they could move to instead.
Susanna Viljanen - February 05, 2015 - Report this comment
Finland is culturally Scandinavia, but not linguistically nor ethnically - the closest neighbour linguistically is Estonia. I'd rather speak Nordic countries. I do speak also Swedish, though. Finland tends to follow the general social trends of the rest of the Nordic countries.

One snowflake doesn't mean snow. Heck, each and every snowflake is unique and different from all others. But snowflakes have a tendency to adhere to each other and form all-covering surfaces. When there are enough of those flakes, they form snow.

Same with Muslims. One burqha-clad pharmacist isn't a poison pill dispenser nor one bearded newsagent is not a suicide bomber. But when there are enough of them, they tend to segregate themselves from the infidel population, form communities, take the concept of Holy War seriously and begin to rape infidel women, rob and beat up infidel children, arrange riots and mobs and form no-go zones where the law of the society ceases to be and the only law is Sharia.

Muslims are grossly over-represented in crimes like rapes, child molesting, robberies, cruelty on animals and felonies in all Nordic countries. I am sick and tired on being forced to tolerate such ideology whose aim is to bring back slavery, to subjugate women between animals and furniture, to wind the clock back to Bronze Age and to set up a theocracy whose law includes whippings, amputations and stonings. The lesson of Nazism and tolerating the Nazis too long was hard to learn, painful to internalize and quickly forgotten. And we have forgotten Islam has waged its Holy War against Christianity and Western Civilization for 1400 years.
Dr Giorgio Coniglio dec - February 05, 2015 - Report this comment
I like your snow analogy, but only up to a point. When my grandfather immigrated to Canada, he adhered to the snow. (We have lots of peaceable snow-communities up here ). Must be some other explanation for your perceptions. And, doing the math, didn't the expulsions from Spain, the Crusades etc occur during those last 1400 years?
American - February 05, 2015 - Report this comment
Yes, for 1400 years the now 1.6 billion evil Muslims have colonized the white Christian West, gathering together like snowflakes to smother Western science and capitalism. They repealed the Magna Carta, turned our great cathedrals into mosques, thwarted the Enlightenment, drew the borders of our countries, and dropped bombs on white people. They exterminated us with an industrialized killing machine and used animals for cruel medical experiments. Now they're taking over the newstands and pharmacies. Next thing you know, they'll use the blood of Christian children to make pita and they'll control the media. And they stick together. Just like the Amish!!
American - February 05, 2015 - Report this comment
In the U.S. Muslims installed dictators like Abraham Lincoln, a tool of Savak. And they now rape Oprah Winfrey and the Statue of Liberty every hour on the hour.
Patrick - February 05, 2015 - Report this comment
I buy switchblade knives from a one-armed Arab. The last time I was in his shop he gave me a piece of cake. It was not poisoned. I am still here to speak of it. His shop is in the back of a building also occupied by a Somali grocery store. I see taxicabs parked in the lot, but not a single Japanese pick-up truck with a machine gun.
Voice of the Muslims - August 01, 2015 - Report this comment
Lol first of All I've got to say you guys are very funny, but I'd lke comment as I am a muslim myself, people seem to fear us all around the world, we don't want that and try to promote peace, but we are not push-overs, and we take our religion very serious, so when you insult or attack us and our religion (psychically) we will stand up for what we believe at all costs and we have proved this in the past, but because of this we have been branded terrorists and we are too dangerous for society and what not,''Patrick'' gave a good example of purchasing a wepeon by a so called ''terrorist'', yet this man offered him cake? Bottom story is we are peaceful but when we have to get violent for the right reasons we will do so at all costs, I know many muslims that our spreading the word of Islam but they were gangsters or murderers or rapists, but they changed their lifestyle to a peacful one, Islam has a very violent backround so to speak and for that we know and appreciate true peace for we know the true meaning of war and bloodshed and we don't want that but propaganda has made people to hate
Supports Voice - August 01, 2015 - Report this comment
The Finns were co-belligerant with Nazi Germany and used their weapons. Even though the USSR was aggressor, Finnish soldiers shot Russians that waved the white flag of surrender. They committed war crimes too. Just Google Finnish war crimes.

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