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Song Parodies -> "H2O Has H-Bonds"

Original Song Title:

"Every Rose Has Its Thorn"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"H2O Has H-Bonds"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

The name's Bond, H-Bond...
Water lies silent and still
With significant mass
But it is such a tiny molecule, it should
Really be a gas
But oxygen's electro-positive
Pulls electrons to one side
What you get's like a dipole,
And one side has a delta mi-
Nus, so

H2O has H-bonds, you find
H and O correspo-ow-ow-ond, and
That's why water makes seas, lakes and ponds
H2O has H-bonds

I understand that H and O
Bond covalently, yeah, but
That should mean the molecules will
Part easily, but it
Takes a lot of energy
To make water out of ice. And if
Water mol'cules were discrete, you know you
Wouldn't need that latent heat, ah, but:

H2O has H-bonds, affecting
H's, O's and beyo-ow-ow-ond, you know
If they weren't there, water soon would be gone
H2O has H-bonds

Though it sure ain't ionic
Water isn't crystalline
But it works as a solvent for salt ions
And the salt, that salt makes brine

I know I could have passed my chem exam,
If I'd known what to write
Instead of writing science,
I was babbling utter shite
And now I hear you're a chemist, too
And so I wrote this little song for you
To help you so you might just pass
And you won't, like me, talk out.. of turn

H2O has H-bonds, between
Molecules, and they're stro-o-ong,
Next to covalents, they're weak and they're long, but
H2O has H-bonds

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   13

User Comments

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Meriadoc - February 11, 2008 - Report this comment
Wonderful parody Phil! And you just gave me an idea for another parody (since some little nagging in my brain made me check the archive and realize I had to shelve "Coprolite" - ha ha).
2Eagle - February 11, 2008 - Report this comment
Thank you for the science lesson - Tom Lehrer would love it.
Peregrin - February 11, 2008 - Report this comment
Great stuff Phil, loved "That's why water makes seas, lakes and ponds" the best out of all the lines :)
Phil Alexander - February 13, 2008 - Report this comment
:-) Thanks all
Merry - that's some old s*** you're talking 2Eagle - another of many entries in my book of Chemistry revision
Pippin - and here was me thinking that was the one I stuck in for the rhyme ;-)
Peregrin - February 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Well, Phil, as both Lobo and the Charlie Daniels Band said; "I'm A Simple Man" :)
Matthias - February 16, 2008 - Report this comment
Like me you went for the Bill Nye The Science Guy: Music Video Parody. Very eduactional, I learned a few things, I loved I know I could have passed my chem exam, If I'd known what to write Instead of writing science, I was babbling utter s***e", because I can really relate to that.
Kristof Robertson - February 22, 2008 - Report this comment
(DEC 2.10) I may have said this before, Phil, but I'd have loved to have had you as my science teacher. I can just see you at the front of the class with your makeup, spandex and poodle perm...:-D 555
Agrimorfee - February 25, 2008 - Report this comment
(Dec) Thank you for the demonstration, Dr. Phil (:))
littleCupCakes - February 25, 2008 - Report this comment
555 but I prefer the Sir Connery < 007 > version!
bobpiecheese - February 26, 2008 - Report this comment
(Dec 2.0) Gah! I write parodies to get AWAY from the Chem homework I'm meant to be doing, not to LEARN MORE! Well written, 555, you know the drill.
Arwen - February 27, 2008 - Report this comment
Decathlon...this totally rocks my socks, Phil. As a youngster, I loved the OS, and wished that I were old enough to be at a high school dance to enjoy it with that special someone. Hee hee. Excellent song job...and I think I accidentally learned something! =)
stuart mcarthur - February 27, 2008 - Report this comment
(decath), sir, are we gonna get tested on this? I knew your ears would be pinned back with this topic choice, Phil, and you were still accelerating as you passed the post - 555
Jeff Reuben - February 27, 2008 - Report this comment
Awesome OS, and really enjoyed the parody. Did you ever get around to recording this?
Below Average Dave - February 28, 2008 - Report this comment
(Dec2) The OS is a classic and as such doing something unique is a must to do it well, and I think you succeeded in that. My main, and only, problem at all was the formatting. It paces, BUT, not in one read, it took me two reads to pace that second verse because the expected pauses in Poison's singing don't necessarily go to another line which made for a tough read the first time around. On an intellect scale this song was fantastic, the idea was not so much funny--but very educational, the Salt Ion part I can verify personally from working as a pool boy (hince the opening round's "Pool Boy Prophet") and dealing with salt systems. Good job, not so funny, but very well written.
Phil Alexander - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, again...
BAD - funny you mention the formatting: the lyric sheet I used was almost unformatted, in that line ends & rhyme points (not always the same thing in this song) were all in the middle somewhere, and it was throwing me - so I re-did it like the above: more as an aid to writing than reading.
Jeff - I haven't... yet.
Stu - I figure I'll have the entire science exam syllabus covered by my 230th birthday
Kristof - make-up, spandex and poodle perm? My dear chap, I haven't enough hair left on top for any kind of perm LittleCupCakes - what, "Every Roshe Hash It'sh Thorn"?
Mother of 3 Ferrets - June 01, 2010 - Report this comment
great job! maybe it could help me on my science homework someday! i'll give u all 5's!

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