Mr. Towelie, why are you always high
Mr. Towelie, you have such bloodshot eyes

Even though you are just a towel
Teaching towel safety
The government made you run afoul
Yeah, you're on the run, baby

Mr. Mackey, don't you know drugs are bad
Wacky tabacky, always makes you feel glad

The Army is coming to get you
When will they ever learn?
Conceived as a failed experiment
How long since you had a good burn

Mr. Towelie, won't you smoke your last "J'
Mr. Towelie, you'll smoke it anyway

And if you find you can't remember
Maybe first you should get stoned
But then your mind always starts to wander
You'll still forget, we should have known

You're an interesting guy
Do you wanna get high?
Wanna get high?
I think you wanna get high yeah...